Los Angeles/Long Beach area help

I have a kid in a bind out there. Not sure he wants the help, but I'm trying to get ahead of the game.

Making bad choices. Took off without telling anyone. Wound up in Long Beach. Can't send money or travel tickets because his wallet was stolen, and I can't trust him right now.

More than anything I would be looking for someone to throw him a few meals and provide a safe place to park and sleep in his car until I can come get him. I will fully reimburse anyone willing to help upon my arrival. I will be taking his car with us as well. I'm in Indiana and will leave as soon as (if) he takes the help.

He just contacted momma sounding sad and sorry. Hasn't asked for help yet.


Pm me for details if you are in the area and are willing to help.

Thank you.

jethrobolas said:

I have a kid in a bind out there. Not sure he wants the help, but I'm trying to get ahead of the game.

Making bad choices. Took off without telling anyone. Wound up in Long Beach. Can't send money or travel tickets because his wallet was stolen, and I can't trust him right now.

More than anything I would be looking for someone to throw him a few meals and provide a safe place to park and sleep in his car until I can come get him. I will fully reimburse anyone willing to help upon my arrival. I will be taking his car with us as well. I'm in Indiana and will leave as soon as (if) he takes the help.

He just contacted momma sounding sad and sorry. Hasn't asked for help yet.


Pm me for details if you are in the area and are willing to help.

Thank you.

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Give me a pm and some more info if possible.

Situation has changed. Sounds like I'm too quick to help a dope fiend. He's my step son. His mother, father and father's family basically said fuck him. Apparently he's screwed them pretty badly as well.

I cannot thank you enough for your offer of assistance. He's on his own.

jethrobolas said:

Situation has changed. Sounds like I'm too quick to help a dope fiend. He's my step son. His mother, father and father's family basically said fuck him. Apparently he's screwed them pretty badly as well.

I cannot thank you enough for your offer of assistance. He's on his own.

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Sorry to hear that.

Sorry to here that also. I hope he gets his act together before it's to late.

Sorry to hear that. Almost lost my brother last year to alcohol addiction and a horrific car wreck. He got sober after that - so far so good anyway. It takes what it takes - letting him figure it out for himself is his best shot. Hang in there, it's hell on the family!

Ive lost 1 friend and another has been going in and out of comas for nearly 3 yrs now because of that junk... dontpush him away or wait for him to accept help... might wind up waiting too long... i say go get his ass and chain him up in the basement til hes straightend out...

adambweird said:

Ive lost 1 friend and another has been going in and out of comas for nearly 3 yrs now because of that junk... dontpush him away or wait for him to accept help... might wind up waiting too long... i say go get his ass and chain him up in the basement til hes straightend out...

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I have helped 3 people get off drugs so far and that is why i replied.
Los Angeles and Long Beach are notorious for drugs and they lose hundreds daily.

Some city elected officials in the heartland have mentioned limiting the number of resuscitations an addict is allowed.

The hike in the prices of the narcotic antagonist Rx to reverse the opiate effects is like the young CEO that hiked his Rx 4500% in price.

The Broward Sheriff's Office Fire Rescue which is metro Ft. Lauderdale FL ran-out of the Rx Narcan on their EMS rigs, and they had the LEO's carrying it too, because of the number of overdoses, and the effects of the local pain clinics prescribing millions of pills to any warm body that could pay the price.

If you want the person to live, go get him/her, bring them home, and get them into a program ASAP. If you don't, you may be getting a call from the L.A. CA Coroner's Office, who used to refer to himself as "the coroner to the stars."

Fire-medic said:

Some city elected officials in the heartland have mentioned limiting the number of resuscitations an addict is allowed.

The hike in the prices of the narcotic antagonist Rx to reverse the opiate effects is like the young CEO that hiked his Rx 4500% in price.

The Broward Sheriff's Office Fire Rescue which is metro Ft. Lauderdale FL ran-out of the Rx Narcan on their EMS rigs, and they had the LEO's carrying it too, because of the number of overdoses, and the effects of the local pain clinics prescribing millions of pills to any warm body that could pay the price.

If you want the person to live, go get him/her, bring them home, and get them into a program ASAP. If you don't, you may be getting a call from the L.A. CA Coroner's Office, who used to refer to himself as "the coroner to the stars."

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That brings up an interesting point. I know of some Fire/EMS services that will bill people especially if they get called out repeatedly, or for "stupid" issues.

The only downside to City governments getting involved with the number of resuscitation's, is a small thing called "Duty to Act". and if your on the clock, and in your service area, I dont see how it can be avoided.

Me personally, I like the states suing the opiate manufactures.

http://newsok.com/article/5554776

jethrobolas said:

Situation has changed. Sounds like I'm too quick to help a dope fiend. He's my step son. His mother, father and father's family basically said fuck him. Apparently he's screwed them pretty badly as well.

I cannot thank you enough for your offer of assistance. He's on his own.

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Very sorry to hear that. I just recently went through something similar. A dear friend from down south is an alcoholic. His wife called me and asked me to help because I had helped him with pill addiction severals years ago. So I headed out that evening, drove through the night to get him and bring him up with me. Took a week off so we could get settled in and get a routine. Daily AA meetings, started looking a rehab clinics, etc. Just trying to do anything we can to help kick this demons ass. He stayed with me for months. I never asked for a penny. But he started lying, stealing, taking my vehicles in the middle of night to go get booze. I woke up one morning to go to work and had no car because he got drunk somewhere and passed out. He eventually showed back up with my car damaged. Nothing serious, but he clearly bumped shit in my car.

So that made me paranoid to sleep. Had to hide keys, had to sleep with one eye open so to speak. After months of that you're just exhausted and tired. Only to come home from work to find him so drunk he can't even form understandable words. At some point my significant other told me she was not comfortable being in the house with him. I loved him like a brother, but she's my wife in my heart. She and my kids are my priority. I had to throw him out. It was heartbreaking and even when you're mind is telling you it's the right thing to do to keep your loved ones safe -- in your heart you just carry so much guilt. Still struggled to sleep for a while just worrying about him. Where is he now? Is he ok? It's not easy. And perhaps I just suck at helping people, but then I realized even his sons whom he was really close with couldn't get through to him.

I know his lying and stealing wasn't him... it was the addiction, but at the same time you've got protect you and yours too. Hard choices no one wants to ever have to make. My sincerest condolences on your family having to go through that. And my sincerest hope that he somehow finds a path to recovery.

Unfortunately, people make choices in life that are not in their best interests. The choice to be an addict to whatever substance or behavior is still a choice. Whether or not you have the will to withstand the destructive nature of whatever is your source of torment, my belief is, it's a choice.

You can say, the body craves the (fill-in the substance or behavior here) and that it's not what that person "is," but in reality, they choose not to try (and to succeed), not to value their family more-than the alcohol, the opiates, the methamphetamine, the criminal behavior. I've seen it many, many times. It's never easy to accept the destructive nature of someone you care-about, you just hope they don't kill anyone as they descend into the pits of hell their addiction brings them to.

Sometimes in fire-rescue, I would see the same person again and again. The family would be calling again, the person is unconscious, they took an overdose, they are bruised and battered from being in a bar fight. I have to go to the scene of an auto accident, look who it is, injured, or dead.

My opinion is that there needs to be a separation between the one needing help and the caregiver, in many cases. You cannot subject your family to the danger of the behavior of an addict.

Fire-medic said:

Unfortunately, people make choices in life that are not in their best interests. The choice to be an addict to whatever substance or behavior is still a choice. Whether or not you have the will to withstand the destructive nature of whatever is your source of torment, my belief is, it's a choice.

You can say, the body craves the (fill-in the substance or behavior here) and that it's not what that person "is," but in reality, they choose not to try (and to succeed), not to value their family more-than the alcohol, the opiates, the methamphetamine, the criminal behavior. I've seen it many, many times. It's never easy to accept the destructive nature of someone you care-about, you just hope they don't kill anyone as they descend into the pits of hell their addiction brings them to.

Sometimes in fire-rescue, I would see the same person again and again. The family would be calling again, the person is unconscious, they took an overdose, they are bruised and battered from being in a bar fight. I have to go to the scene of an auto accident, look who it is, injured, or dead.

My opinion is that there needs to be a separation between the one needing help and the caregiver, in many cases. You cannot subject your family to the danger of the behavior of an addict.

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I completely agree in regards to choice. That was something we talked about a lot. Because when I brought him up with me he was sober. When he went to the store to buy that bottle of vodka that not only was a choice but it was a SOBER choice. He needed to own it. But I wanted to try and figure out the logic flow that LEAD to that choice. To see if we can re-direct it or at least add more factors into that equation in his mind that led to the result of buying that vodka. Of course that requires introspection, to be honest with not just me, but with himself. That falls into that familiar phrase we've all heard many times "The first step to fighting addiction is admitting you're and addict." But it's not just about a proclamation to someone or an AA group. It's about truly believing it for yourself. And IMO, that was his hurdle -- his persistent internal denial of his problem. He was going through these steps because that's what his wife wanted. Yet another true adage "You can't help someone who isn't willing to help themselves."

But in regards to "That's not him, that's the addiction." I feel there is truth to that. I've known him for over 20 years, served with him, watched the birth and growth of his kids who call me uncle, helped each other through deaths in the family, through half a dozen hurricanes including Katrina, through good times and bad. Those were sober years and i know the content of his character. But we are human. We are flawed creatures. Many of us have addictive natures. I know I do. I learned that early in life and fortunately had the humility to acknowledge it and realized I had to factor my addictive nature into all my internal equations/choices. But in 2017, humility is a dirty word, it's ridiculed and disrespected, and pushed out. Its a foreign concept to many and becomes more foreign each day.

Kronx: I'm very sorry that after having worn a uniform alongside him, and having helped him along the way, that it came down to having to do that. Maybe he will finally decide that he's better than the addiction, and that he loves his family more-than the alcohol.

Fire-medic said:

Kronx: I'm very sorry that after having worn a uniform alongside him, and having helped him along the way, that it came down to having to do that. Maybe he will finally decide that he's better than the addiction, and that he loves his family more-than the alcohol.

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Yea I hope so too. Thanks Fire-Medic.

Been busy trying to get ready for the family vacation that's probably not happening now, so haven't really checked in here.
Thank you fellas for the kind words and offers to help a stranger. Speaks volumes of the character of the members of this site.

He is in contact with his mother, found out he has a "friend" with him. He actually left home with 2 buddies. One is a known thief and druggie, the other was a decent kid who's loaded from a inheritance.
The money man caught them cooking a batch of meth in their hotel room (supposedly money man was supposed to help them stay straight till they found jobs?). He tried to throw the cook stuff away and they started fighting with him.
Money man told them "fuck you", called a cab and caught a flight back home, leaving them behind. That's the story we've gotten from the people who USED to consider our son their friend. Told us he was trying to get them into it because "it feels so good".
Got into contact with the father of our son's partner in crime. Poor partner has had a hard life, mostly by choice. Partner's father has been working with us, slowly feeding them money while my wife is tracking their location. They are reluctantly and slowly making their way back now. Left long beach around 10pm on Friday. They are currently just east of Denver.
Partner has a debit card linked to his father's account. When they have made significant progress, be loads another $60 onto the card for more gas and food. The wife and I are splitting the cost to TRY and get these dumbasses back home.
IF they make it back, our son will be faced with a choice. Hand over the phone and keys to the car he has stiffed us on, and basically he will be with Mom 24/7 until........
or grab whatever your want to carry with you from what you have left here and hit the road. On foot. No car. No phone. Just leave.

Been reading about meth addiction. He's set himself up for a hell of a life. Even if we can get him back, it's going to be tough.
Thing is we have 3 more kids here at the house. I let momma know that if he starts his shit after he returns, I'm going to hurt him bad. I don't want to whip my step son's ass, but I have no problem beating the shit out of an addict that could fuck my family up more than it is now.

And yes, I just finished installing and getting on-line my new security camera system with remote viewing yesterday.
It might not stop bad things from happening, but at least I'll know what happened.

jethrobolas said:

And yes, I just finished installing and getting on-line my new security camera system with remote viewing yesterday.
It might not stop bad things from happening, but at least I'll know what happened.

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If you think in terms of what you will be dealing with you have to understand that you are talking to drugs and cannot rationalize with the human. Sorry to hear this.

jethrobolas said:

Been reading about meth addiction. He's set himself up for a hell of a life. Even if we can get him back, it's going to be tough.
Thing is we have 3 more kids here at the house. I let momma know that if he starts his shit after he returns, I'm going to hurt him bad. I don't want to whip my step son's ass, but I have no problem beating the shit out of an addict that could fuck my family up more than it is now.

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The bad thing about an addict, they wont accept help, unless they've hit rock bottom, and they WANT help.

Been following this closely,I am sorry,I just hope he get's help.My son has a problem with drinking,He has lost his children his wife gave up but she is about as bad as my son.Been trying to help them,But nothing works.My son and i don't even talk anymore.Been messing with this for over 15 years.We get the grand kids which are the real hurt ones .My son and i got into a fight it didn't help.15 years wasted.Not gonna waste anymore of our lives trying to help someone who claims to know everything,but wont hear shit.his mom is paying his house payments and lights water ect.with all the stupidly they have lived you would have thought the wife and me could get custody of the grandkids .lawyer says no.Grandparents have no rights.We get to see the lil guy's around twice a month when there mom has them.Guess that will have to do.Misery hurt aggravation always need money.fights confusion.The lil guys have to live in that!!I hope your situation goes better than mine and the wife.god be with you and yours