Headache is almost over..

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Bill Seward

Bill Seward

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 24, 2007
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Location
Holland NY
I closed on the reverse mortgage to pay my hopefully soon-to-be-ex wife her half of the house. I'm keeping it. Probably won't ever move out of the place, that was our intention when we bought it 25 years ago. Eventually, the equity will dwindle to zero, but I have the right to live here till I die, even if it does.

I saw $1511.40 extra after closing, my years school tax ($800.00) will come out of closing costs, and there will be about $400.00 left over from the escrow which will refund to me in October. Also, escrow will pay off $150.00 of my homeowners insurance. So, I got about $2000 out of the deal. And yes, I am buying new locks as soon as the deed is recorded that she's no longer an owner of this place.

I ask her when she plans on filing for divorce, now that the financials are done. Her answer is "What's the big hurry? You got a girlfriend?". I did my part, didn't argue anything, and she got everything we agreed on. Now it's time for her to do her part.

As much as I wanted her back a few months ago, I want her gone more.
 
Funny how a little time adds so much perspective. My ex flat refused to sign it, refused for weeks and lawyer did something and it was over that quickly. It took a little while for her to realize that no amount manipulation, tantrums, threats or head games would change things. I got a protection order and she got the message. I have never been happier, I'm free of all the shit that was clogging up my life and standing in the way of true autonomy and happiness.

Besides shes the one that wanted out, if your a dick like I am you could remind her that it's no longer any of her concern who or when you date, that she gave up that luxury when she produced divorce papers. You got the tricky part over with now anyway and from here it gets much easier pretty quickly. She probably thought that you were sitting in the corner pining away for her return, sometimes its hard for a gal to realize that she no longer holds the power.
 
Get a lawyer and file NOW! Filing 1st means you get to tell your story 1st. You may not have had to do/give as much as you did.

Honestly, who cares what she wants! Look out for yourself, you know she will be.
 
paulibiker said:
Get a lawyer and file NOW! Filing 1st means you get to tell your story 1st. You may not have had to do/give as much as you did.

Honestly, who cares what she wants! Look out for yourself, you know she will be.
Click to expand...

Amen brother, do it now Bill before she does! It can only help! :punk:
 
File first. Its like a Band aid....do it quick, and it will feel so much better.
 
First marriage was 11 years in HELL. She Cheated, Stole from me and then left to chase Dr's or Lawyers. Ended up with a Loser Truck Driver. She got custody of my 2 boys and used them for years to screw me over.

Very Shortened Story:

I've been in a great marriage for 34 years now. a Wonderful, Beautiful Women. One of the sons moved over to our house when he was 16 and wrote his mother totally off. The other had gone her way and had written me off. After 25 years of not seeing him, my current wife and that sons wife manipulated getting us back together. We get along so well it's unbelievable. He refuses to even speak to his biological mother now.

Both boys were told they would be Worthless Bikers if they ever gave me the time of day (along with other horrible things). The one who stayed with her had to struggle with lots of problems but finally got his life straight through no help from his mother. Both make 6 figures today so I guess she was wrong.

Her being a BITCH has pretty much bit her in the Ass. 1st wife ended up with Nothing in the end.:clapping:

Justice......

Married to the right one makes all the difference in the world.
 
The financial agreement is completed, all the paperwork for her to file is done. This is an uncontested, amicable divorce. She told me yesterday if I really want the marriage to end, she will file asap. There is no way she can get anything more from me.

"Really want the marriage to end"? REALLY?? Get involved with that sleazeball whose name will not be mentioned (but you all know who he is...), blindside me with this divorce, put me through living hell all summer - mostly my own frustration and not comprehending why..

Yeah, I really want this to end. And it's gonna end soon. And I'm the better person for it ending.
 
I think they already signed a legal agreement (IIRC). I was under the impression that he also already met his part of that legal agreement at significant inconvenience and expense to himself. She should have no legal basis to drag her feet and may need a gentle reminder from the council that oversaw the contract signing. Bill please correct me if I got it wrong, I'm going on memory from the thread awhile back.

My guess is shes trying to gauge whether hes sitting at home crying into his beer and pining for her return, or if hes already moving on. I hate to see a brother go through this stuff.

EDIT, you posted before mine went up.
"Yeah, I really want this to end. And it's gonna end soon. And I'm the better person for it ending."

Amen brother! keep your head up! It's a great time to stay positive and savor the perks of this.
 
SpecOps13 said:
First marriage was 11 years in HELL. She Cheated, Stole from me and then left to chase Dr's or Lawyers. Ended up with a Loser Truck Driver. She got custody of my 2 boys and used them for years to screw me over.

Very Shortened Story:

I've been in a great marriage for 34 years now. a Wonderful, Beautiful Women. One of the sons moved over to our house when he was 16 and wrote his mother totally off. The other had gone her way and had written me off. After 25 years of not seeing him, my current wife and that sons wife manipulated getting us back together. We get along so well it's unbelievable. He refuses to even speak to his biological mother now.

Both boys were told they would be Worthless Bikers if they ever gave me the time of day (along with other horrible things). The one who stayed with her had to struggle with lots of problems but finally got his life straight through no help from his mother. Both make 6 figures today so I guess she was wrong.

Her being a BITCH has pretty much bit her in the Ass. 1st wife ended up with Nothing in the end.:clapping:

Justice......

Married to the right one makes all the difference in the world.
Click to expand...

this is eerily close to my own story, no identical but some close elements. Sorry you went through that and glad your happy today and have a relationship with your young uns!
 
Exactly right, Casey.. All the legal stuff is done in the agreement we signed and filed, all needed now is for her to file. Tomorrow, hopefully. She gets her money Wednesday. She will be reminded about her need to get this done on Thursday, after I go to Lowe's and get new door locks..

And deadbolts..

Just thinking here... If she drags her feet with this filing, could I refuse to pay her "Maintainence"? I agreed to 120 months, and I would pay 120 months, just postpone payment till she files.. I'm thinking that would move her along a bit faster.

Her father recently died, and she's probably gonna see $100K from his estate. Add the $67.5K from the house, looks like she'll be sitting pretty. She definitely will not miss the $300/month if I hold payment till she files..
 
Het Bill sounds like your freedom is just around the corner, keep your head up high and enjoy it!! Congratulations.
 
FILE! She's using you as a back up if it doesn't work with whoever or whatever! What's with the "you really want the marriage to end?" BS? You're the prize, she should be saying "I screwed up, I want you, you're the one!". Since she isn't, move on. Read the book "The Rationale Male" when you get a minute, it's an eye opener.
 
I don't think there's another person involved.. One way or another, she's gonna file. As far as her keeping me on a string for a backup in case she gets lonely or changesher mind? Way too late for that!
 
It wont matter if anyone else is involved, you may never know for sure but if your gut says no than maybe no, a contract is a contract and you will be free. The beauty of this is from now on her judgement and actions will have no ill effect on you. It's a thing of beauty!

I would keep your end of the deal, even she drags feet. Ultimately its a question for a lawyer but I would say keep your word even if she and drags her feet, she cant do it for long. This way you appear to be the good guy you are. Then if it goes in front of a judge you can say "I honored my end of the contract and I respectfully ask the court to compel her to honor hers." Besides the sooner you start paying the sooner you get to stop paying and wash your hands of it. She cant avoid signing for long. That would be my guess unless your lawyer says otherwise.
 
Sorry to hear all the B.S. you had to go thru but Glad to hear you are working thru it and getting yourself back to a normal lifestyle and able to finally relax a little . Hopefully once everything is done you can unwind and enjoy the Good Life.
 
Bill Seward said:
Exactly right, Casey.. All the legal stuff is done in the agreement we signed and filed, all needed now is for her to file. Tomorrow, hopefully. She gets her money Wednesday. She will be reminded about her need to get this done on Thursday, after I go to Lowe's and get new door locks..

And deadbolts..

Just thinking here... If she drags her feet with this filing, could I refuse to pay her "Maintainence"? I agreed to 120 months, and I would pay 120 months, just postpone payment till she files.. I'm thinking that would move her along a bit faster.

Her father recently died, and she's probably gonna see $100K from his estate. Add the $67.5K from the house, looks like she'll be sitting pretty. She definitely will not miss the $300/month if I hold payment till she files..
Click to expand...

If you're still married , I would ask your lawyer if you are entitled to any of that estate money.
 
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