My vasectomy

Quite a few years ago me and the wife decided not to have anymore kids,One evening she popped up outta the blue and said,It would be so much easier for you than me,Old george had made several runs without a raincoat,So i knew we were pushing our luck.This conservation had came up more and more,I off to the doctor,Nothing to it he assured me,Damn near painless,In and out in no time.Also talked to my nephew he said walk in the park,So we sat up the date,And in no time off we went.The lady nurse called my name,The wife said you'll be fine.Nothing to it,Just like everyone said.Little did i know i was entering the house of hell!Lady nurse got me back there in the room,And said sir i need to to disrobe from the waist down,I thought she's a pro sees this kinda stuff all the time.Old george didn't look happy,Neither did fred and frank,(the nut brothers)George wasn't happy as he stared at the floor.Nurse looked and said i see you didn't shave,Now i was a complete nervous wreck,I rubbed my face .Nurse smiled and said not you face sir.She instructed me to lie down,Got her a can of shaving cream and a bic razor and away she went.Doc came in good morning terry,Were about ready to go here,About then nurse said he's ready to go.Doc told the nurse get the pain medicine ready,Pain i thought wasn't supposed to be no pain.Here come the nurse with 5 needles.layed them down next to the doc.Doc looked at me and said youll going to feel a lil discomfort .Bam! A LIL DISCOMFORT!! Bam again!! Damn!! I felt like he lit two cherry bombs and stuck em in my nuts! Now soaked in sweat.He said lets give that a few minutes.I thought thank god.Hope that's the worst of it! But no He squeezes fred and says can you feel that?I say barley not wanting anymore of them damn needles.Hes down there feels like he's starting a weed eater in the bottom of my stomach.I start groaning,Damn im dying i thought.Doc says hurting some uh? I'll fix that.O god i thought! Bam! another cherry bomb! bam Theres # 2 Doc says i have noticed you seem quite uncomfortable,Let's do another.Bam!!#3 Fred and frank are dead.He killed them and one more and ill die too.He finally finished.Thank god.Now delirious and exhausted. He sais you can get dressed and go home.Dont pick up anything it will cause swelling.Ok i say.We come home the pain leaves on the way.We arrive my son has left a car hanging out the garage door.I dont like leaving the garage open so i push the car inside and close the door .Felt a funny twinge when i pushed the car,I thought it's nothing ill be fine.Went in and layed down,Noticed my pain was returning my pants were a lil tight. i felt around and fred and frank have turned into bigg ass oranges.Off come ethe pants in my bloomers i get a bag of ice out of the freezer lay it gentley on fred and frank and stay there most of the day.It finally went down .Damn what a experience

OH MY F*CKING G!! holy god my friend, wow, wow!! I feel like I just watched the whole thing happen on Youtube. Great story man! awesome, I mean, not awesome, but awesome.. you get it.

Thank you for sharing!

... and to think I am trying to convince my wife to let me get one.

I had it done 14 years ago. Ice is your friend.

Most everyone i talked to said there was not much to it .It was for me I went to bed that night and woke up and the swelling was almost gone,But the city was installing a new sewer system down below the house,And guess what happend when they hit rock! they used dynamite!That shook the house! I lifted myself up outta the chair and said what the hell! Right back to oranges fred and frank went.Got my bag of ice and started over.Mabye it will go better for you ryan.And radley glad you enjoyed the story.And it's TRUE!

poppop said:

Most everyone i talked to said there was not much to it .It was for me I went to bed that night and woke up and the swelling was almost gone,But the city was installing a new sewer system down below the house,And guess what happend when they hit rock! they used dynamite!That shook the house! I lifted myself up outta the chair and said what the hell! Right back to oranges fred and frank went.Got my bag of ice and started over.Mabye it will go better for you ryan.And radley glad you enjoyed the story.And it's TRUE!

Click to expand...

That's what they told me too Terry....turns out 'most everyone' lied! One side went smooth and painless....the other side could not be numbed....."well, let's get it done anyway" the Doc said! Easy for him to say!!
Then they put cute little glow in the dark bandaids on the incisions....I was not fuckin' impressed!

If I woke up as a 22 year old again I would get the vasectomy IMMEDIATELY! Ask all your friends that have kids if they would do it all over again, you might be surprised by what you hear. By far the happiest people I know are single and childless, it cant be an accident. I love my kids but I can see now everything I sacrificed to raise them, its almost incalculable.

dannymax said:

That's what they told me too Terry....turns out 'most everyone' lied! One side went smooth and painless....the other side could not be numbed....."well, let's get it done anyway" the Doc said! Easy for him to say!!
Then they put cute little glow in the dark bandaids on the incisions....I was not fuckin' impressed!

Click to expand...

Sorry you went through that, it sucks but think of how much it would sting to have 18-15 years of child support. Even if he handed you a bottle of 1792 and a table leg with teeth marks all over it, it would hurt less than an unwanted child.

My experience was along the same line. This is no joke my Drs name was Dr. Cutler this is no shit. I shaved so no worries there. The room was ice cold and the boys were up in my throat. I remember the one comment that the Dr. Said. "That's impressive!". I am like.... what is impressive asking the Doc. Knowing at this time he has my bag cut open. He replies"I have my whole hand inside there!". I swelled up, felt like I was packing around an over sized grapefruit in my sweats. My wife kept telling me I was being a wuss. Yes it also started out as "it would be so much easier if you took care of this!" Lol

When i had mine a 3 yrs ago, i kept feeling everything during the procedure until my 10th shot of local. Set a record for the most local used by the Dr, lol. About 3 days later, Lefty wandered and got caught and it felt like the poor fellow was in a vice all day, i was not happy to say the least!! After a week and around 60 vicodin i was back to normal!

adambweird said:

When i had mine a 3 yrs ago, i kept feeling everything during the procedure until my 10th shot of local. Set a record for the most local used by the Dr, lol. About 3 days later, Lefty wandered and got caught and it felt like the poor fellow was in a vice all day, i was not happy to say the least!! After a week and around 60 vicodin i was back to normal!

Click to expand...

If a bottle of Vicodin and a completed vasectomy wont make you happy then I'm not sure what to tell ya :clapping::rofl_200:

I'll bet you're glad that's all behind you Terry? I'm still potent, most likely. My better half can't get pregnant, so no reason to go under the knife, today. My buddy had it done many years ago and it didn't go so well for him. He said the Doc seemed to be making too much small talk and not paying attention to his task at hand. Well, when Dave got home, his balls were gigantic and he was in enough pain to go to the ER. A couple of years later, after his settlement, he had a nice looking new bike. He never said it was worth it.
Steve-o

Even if a Dr says your better half cannot get pregnant, that doesn't mean it will stay that way. My wife was deemed unable to reproduce by multiple Dr's but after 13 years of not using protection baby #1 was conceived. After she was born my wife got an IUD, the first time after pulling that thing out wham baby #2 was conceived. Now you see why I want to go get shipped, I really don't want anymore kids (never wanted any to begin with and was perfectly happy with my wife being unable to conceive). Oh well, life goes on.

OK, so I had this little "procedure" done in or around 2006. Basically, same conversation with my wife, "it would be easier for you to get fixed than me." So we negotiated a bit, and one of the things we had always disagreed on was having a dog. I grew up with dogs, love dogs, and she was never a dog person. So I told her, I'll get the vasectomy if you let me get a dog? So that was the deal, I had the procedure done, and a few weeks later we went out and got a nice little beagle puppy, which we still have to this day (she's 10 now). Anyways, the actually vasectomy wasn't horrible, but I did have the same pain that you mentioned afterwards and it was NO WALK in the park. That being said, that wasn't even CLOSE to the worst part. About 3 years after the vasectomy, I was in the back yard and we were trying to pull a stump out of the ground. Lifting, HEAVY lifting, straining, eventually we got the stump out but it was a lot of work!!!! The next day, I woke up with a pain in my nut sack that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy!!!!! Kinda like a bad toothache in the nut sack. Went to see the urologist that did my vasectomy and he diagnosed me with "epididymitis" Google it if you want the gory details, but it's basically a condition that is a pretty common side affect for vasectomies. It lasted for a few weeks and eventually went away with just oral meds, (steeroids and pain meds), but it was touch and go there for a while. Well, about a year later, I had another "episode", this one from just lifting a motorcycle that had fallen in my driveway. This second episode was WORSE, and after a few weeks of the oral meds again, the urologist told me he needed to give me a SHOT in the nutsack! Talk about pain! It HURT really bad at first, like my nuts were on fire, but then the pain went away pretty quickly. So it's been 10 years now since the vasectomy, and I've had FIVE, count them FIVE episodes of epididymitis, most likely the direct result of having that daggum' vasectomy. If I had to go back and do it all over, NO WAY I would have had this procedure done. I mean, seriously, I love my beagle, but I hate PAIN even worse, and this type of pain in the nuts I WOULDN'T WISH on my worse enemy! There's an entire website dedicated to the procedure, plenty of good info here, go check it out: http://www.dontfixit.org/

texas-ss-tornado said:

OK, so I had this little "procedure" done in or around 2006. Basically, same conversation with my wife, "it would be easier for you to get fixed than me." So we negotiated a bit, and one of the things we had always disagreed on was having a dog. I grew up with dogs, love dogs, and she was never a dog person. So I told her, I'll get the vasectomy if you let me get a dog? So that was the deal, I had the procedure done, and a few weeks later we went out and got a nice little beagle puppy, which we still have to this day (she's 10 now). Anyways, the actually vasectomy wasn't horrible, but I did have the same pain that you mentioned afterwards and it was NO WALK in the park. That being said, that wasn't even CLOSE to the worst part. About 3 years after the vasectomy, I was in the back yard and we were trying to pull a stump out of the ground. Lifting, HEAVY lifting, straining, eventually we got the stump out but it was a lot of work!!!! The next day, I woke up with a pain in my nut sack that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy!!!!! Kinda like a bad toothache in the nut sack. Went to see the urologist that did my vasectomy and he diagnosed me with "epididymitis" Google it if you want the gory details, but it's basically a condition that is a pretty common side affect for vasectomies. It lasted for a few weeks and eventually went away with just oral meds, (steeroids and pain meds), but it was touch and go there for a while. Well, about a year later, I had another "episode", this one from just lifting a motorcycle that had fallen in my driveway. This second episode was WORSE, and after a few weeks of the oral meds again, the urologist told me he needed to give me a SHOT in the nutsack! Talk about pain! It HURT really bad at first, like my nuts were on fire, but then the pain went away pretty quickly. So it's been 10 years now since the vasectomy, and I've had FIVE, count them FIVE episodes of epididymitis, most likely the direct result of having that daggum' vasectomy. If I had to go back and do it all over, NO WAY I would have had this procedure done. I mean, seriously, I love my beagle, but I hate PAIN even worse, and this type of pain in the nuts I WOULDN'T WISH on my worse enemy! There's an entire website dedicated to the procedure, plenty of good info here, go check it out: http://www.dontfixit.org/

Click to expand...

I had a vasectomy done back in 2003. I have had the same problem. I have no idea how many I've had because I'm one of those dumbasses who never goes to the doctor. I don't know why so effin' stubborn about it. Not proud of it by any means. But eventually I ended up going once to the doctor about it because it got so swollen it was almost like 3rd nut.

But yea... feels like a nut is in a vice all day for a couple of weeks. On the really bad days the pain shoots down an entire leg and up most of my abdomen. I don't know if doctors are better about telling patients about it now, but they never said shit about that side effect to me.

I had it done after our daughter was born , around 1987. She had a son already from a previous marriage , so we really didn't need any more . I was VERY apprehensive about the procedure , but decided I didn't want any more children period. The procedure was painful and was told everything went well and to " put some ice on them " . It felt like I had been kicked in the nuts. The next 6 months felt the same way. We tried to make love a few times during that 6 months but it was just too painful to concentrate on the goal . Eventually the dull pain went away but given the choice , I would never have done it and take my chances with a raincoat or have her get on the pill , as my orgasms have never been as intense or long lasting as prior to the surgery.

Women often say that childbirth is the worst pain a human can suffer , but many of them also say " I think I'd like to have another baby ". After a kick in the nuts , I have NEVER heard a guy say " I think I'd like to have another kick in the nuts ".

Not too much for me to talk about, procedure went easy and after recovery was no pain at all. I had a bottle of rye in the trunk of the car and banged a few back before entering. DAMN the Dr never smelt it on my breath, he'd never would have performed the procedure. LOL, it all went smooth as the Forty Creek I polished off afterwards.
It was the circus that followed in the weeks after that drove me nuts.
It was requested that to test the procedure, the Dr had me give samples X3 over a period of time. So, first time after a couple of weeks while bringing the sample to the lab in the morning before work... DAMN! Arrived at the lab counter and found that my sample cup with my name and details penned on it had blown out of my jacket pocket while driving the Max on the highway. LMFAO. All I could think of was a roadside worker finding the damn thing later that summer.
So, off to BANG another out the next day or so after.
This led to me running short of sample cups to give my 3 samples. Called the Dr office and he would fax me a new request for the lad to dispense me additional steril sample cups. Silly me, not having a fax at home I gave him my work fax. I was on the road all day, so called my partner at work and asked him to keep an eye out for the paper when it arrived on the fax machine. He missed it, but another coworker didn't and left it face up on the machine all day. LOL, please provide additional samples BY MASTRUBATION no lubricants or rubbers to be used. LMFAO
OH wait it doesn't end there! Seems my swimmers were tough and Dr kept seeing swimmers in my goo, so he requested a "live" or fresh sample. It was to be tested pronto after placing it into the sample cup. I made a morning that I'd take care of myself extra special like, dim the lights and take care of biz. After beating it like it owed me money, I quickly drove it to the the lab, the female lab tech behind the counter was expecting me. She asked if it was fresh and I joked with her a wee bit. I turned to leave and BAM! A female coworker is standing behind me waiting in line listening to it all of it... SMILING and chuckling! LMFAO
A couple of weeks later, I caught her speaking with another female coworker about her being at the lab that day. Not a happy day she was explaining, but mentioned that "Some people were having more fun time that day than others". She looked straight at me and smiled. UGH!
What was meant to be difficult and painful was easy, and what was meant to be easy was difficult.
Seems like this parallells working on the VMAX no?
Glad this forum can serve us for more than just the VMAX.

liptoss said:

Not too much for me to talk about, procedure went easy and after recovery was no pain at all. I had a bottle of rye in the trunk of the car and banged a few back before entering. DAMN the Dr never smelt it on my breath, he'd never would have performed the procedure. LOL, it all went smooth as the Forty Creek I polished off afterwards.
It was the circus that followed in the weeks after that drove me nuts.
It was requested that to test the procedure, the Dr had me give samples X3 over a period of time. So, first time after a couple of weeks while bringing the sample to the lab in the morning before work... DAMN! Arrived at the lab counter and found that my sample cup with my name and details penned on it had blown out of my jacket pocket while driving the Max on the highway. LMFAO. All I could think of was a roadside worker finding the damn thing later that summer.
So, off to BANG another out the next day or so after.
This led to me running short of sample cups to give my 3 samples. Called the Dr office and he would fax me a new request for the lad to dispense me additional steril sample cups. Silly me, not having a fax at home I gave him my work fax. I was on the road all day, so called my partner at work and asked him to keep an eye out for the paper when it arrived on the fax machine. He missed it, but another coworker didn't and left it face up on the machine all day. LOL, please provide additional samples BY MASTRUBATION no lubricants or rubbers to be used. LMFAO
OH wait it doesn't end there! Seems my swimmers were tough and Dr kept seeing swimmers in my goo, so he requested a "live" or fresh sample. It was to be tested pronto after placing it into the sample cup. I made a morning that I'd take care of myself extra special like, dim the lights and take care of biz. After beating it like it owed me money, I quickly drove it to the the lab, the female lab tech behind the counter was expecting me. She asked if it was fresh and I joked with her a wee bit. I turned to leave and BAM! A female coworker is standing behind me waiting in line listening to it all of it... SMILING and chuckling! LMFAO
A couple of weeks later, I caught her speaking with another female coworker about her being at the lab that day. Not a happy day she was explaining, but mentioned that "Some people were having more fun time that day than others". She looked straight at me and smiled. UGH!
What was meant to be difficult and painful was easy, and what was meant to be easy was difficult.
Seems like this parallells working on the VMAX no?
Glad this forum can serve us for more than just the VMAX.

Click to expand...

Ok thanks for the good laugh! That really sounds like the sort of luck I have in most cases.

I have a great story on this subject but i think i will keep it to myself. Liptoss When i read forty creek I said to myself he's from Canada. Than i looked at the top right of your post and said yep. I have went to the other side of the bridge a few time's to get some. I like copper pot the best but it's all good. They sell it in the sate's now so i can get it anytime but i have not found copper bottom here. The one thing i will say about the vasectomy is i have not got enough sex to make it worth it and it's been over 20 years now. Sex is about the same as it always has been. But i only have one kid and that's all we wanted.

YUP! Forty Creek many flavours Copper Pot, Barrel Select and the one Primo stuff Confederation Oak Reserve. $$
All good enjoyed as straight shots.