new award suggestion

[odieoh24]

well gentlemen, and ladies if you're reading, it seems we have cause for a new award! how about something for the guys who get screwed without any satisfaction! i am about 2 months from joining coprunner and a few other vmax owners on the road the the big "D". i not married, but i've been with her for the past 11 years. she has 4 kids and we purchased our first place together about 7 years ago. neither of us had good credit so we had her mom sign the note for the mortgage. i provided the initial $8500 for the downpayment out of pocket cash-all mine. i'm guilty of not making her feel loved and feeling second to the bikes so she's decided to go it on her own. and i'll admit it I AM GUILTY AS CHARGED. she has asked if she can take the bike i bought her to learn to ride on and i have agreed, because i still do have feelings for her. its the old i love her but i'm not in love with her thing ya know. that being said we are amicable on the division of personal belongings and the split and there are no hard feelings on either side. only haggling point was the 56" HD tv and the pop up trailer. believe it or not she wants the trailer in exchange for the tv-i'm good with that.
our property is involved in a govt/municiple buyout of about 60 houses surrounding the local airport. they're buying and you dont have to invest any money into home repair as they are tearing them down. that means the homeowners are keeping 100% of the equity, getting 3k for moving expenses, and are guaranteed to be bought for at least your appraised tax amount! we bought at $145k and are appraised taxwise at $240k-$260k. i'm sure you can do the math.
so why an award for getting screwed when it seems like i'm gonna make out pretty good,,,,,,,,,wait for it ,,,, wait,,,,,, ok, for my $8500 downpayment and 7 years of paying half the mortgage her mom wants me to walk with a grand total of $6000! what a fucking slap in the face. not only that but i have 85 days from today to be out with 2 dogs. i found out fri evening. i have no receipt for the downpayment other than the amount on the original bill of sale in her name. her argument is i was a tenant renting from her as the owner and am therefore entitled really to nothing and since i pay everything in cash good luck in court!! however, she did give me a check for 3000 with the other 3000 promised as long as there is no shit between my soon to be ex and myself. gotta be on my best behavior lol. i'm going to a lawyer tomorrow as i feel if thats her position-why did you give me a check? its kinda an admission/acknowledgement that i'm owed something and wasnt just a tenant renting. i'll have to balance cost versus gains when i talk to them tomorrow. glad its getting warm enough to ride and the bike i ready to go-i'll be spending alot of time on it in the next 2-3 months. i gotta get back to apt searching so i hope i didnt bore you to death.

later odieoh24

 

[kaboom]

Man.....that sucks.....

DO NOT cash that check before you talk to your lawyer.......

My advice would have been not to even accept it before consulting your lawyer.......

Good luck.....

 

[88vmx12]

I am sorry to hear that. I will say if my wife and I ever split or when she passes I will be a total mess. I am not sure about suicidal but screwed up bad. I am sorry about the love thing more than the money. Sorry a bit of a softy here man, money means nothing to me just my family. Keep your head high , ride strong and I hope your lawyer actually helps you.

Gannon

 

[vmaxride06]

Have to agree with what Kyle said, Consult legal council before agreeing to anything. Sorry you have to go through this man.

 

[06VMAXIMUS]

Screw her! If she had any decency, she would give you what you are OWED.

 

[gamorg02]

sorry to hear that jeff, best of luck, and see what the lawyer has to say.

 

[88vmx12]

Oh I forgot to tell you and I am sure that you will agree that when you make money off of a house the bank or lender doesn't keep what is up and above what is owed. Damn Bitch , your ex mother in-law

Sorry had to vent.

Gannon

 

[Rusty McNeil]

Divorce is expensive because it's worth it! A cliche I know but nonetheless true.

Next time you fell like getting married just cut to the chase and buy a house and give it to a woman you hate..saves time and aggravation....

i like the award idea

 

[dannymax]

Sorry to hear this Jeff....it sucks, no other way to look at it! Be strong, try not to do anything you can't live with and it will get better with time.

Good move on the lawyer, and prolly to your advantage to have the 3K check to show him....supporting documentation.

I'm pretty sure there are several laws regarding common law status in a long term relationship such as yours....good luck man!

 

[odieoh24]

i knew i wasnt alone. and it helps to hear support from the other guys who have been there. and from the guys who havent but spoke up anyway. tonight i saw the kids for the first time since fri. keep in mind none of them are actually my biological children. our middle girl is 16 and going thru that rebelious stage and her and i have been havin a few tiffs regarding attitude and respect as well as they way she talks to me or her mother. she's the one i'm worried most about! i talked to her tonight to assure her that what is going on between her mom and i has nothing to do with the argument we have had recently. she thinks its her fault and knows her gramma is screwing me and that i'm gonna be in a possible tight spot. she's worried about whats gonna happen to me and the dogs. afraid when i leave i'll just forget her like her father who she hasnt seen in at least 8 years-no b-day cards, no xmas presents, no phone calls or letters, nothing. i told her i loved her and always will and pray she will take it to heart and not let it affect her school or anything. i want her to do well and succeed. as i do the older boy and youngest girl. i got a good line on some possible places to go and i can swing the storage unit so now i just gotta get the lead outta my ass and pack up. i'll keep ya posted.

regards odieoh24

 

[Rusty McNeil]

if your woman knew these things about you, about how you felt and how you cared, she's gonna regret her decision soone or later. You are obviously a good man. Keep that in your heart and live and let live, and do your best to keep a relationship with the innocent bystanders, they'll remember you later when they've grown up and you'll both be better for it...I have been through this shit before and it ain't easy for sure...

Don't let a short term emotion make a long term decision either, I know I say that all the time but it has it's applications especially when faced with difficulty.

Good luck Brother

i knew i wasnt alone. and it helps to hear support from the other guys who have been there. and from the guys who havent but spoke up anyway. tonight i saw the kids for the first time since fri. keep in mind none of them are actually my biological children. our middle girl is 16 and going thru that rebelious stage and her and i have been havin a few tiffs regarding attitude and respect as well as they way she talks to me or her mother. she's the one i'm worried most about! i talked to her tonight to assure her that what is going on between her mom and i has nothing to do with the argument we have had recently. she thinks its her fault and knows her gramma is screwing me and that i'm gonna be in a possible tight spot. she's worried about whats gonna happen to me and the dogs. afraid when i leave i'll just forget her like her father who she hasnt seen in at least 8 years-no b-day cards, no xmas presents, no phone calls or letters, nothing. i told her i loved her and always will and pray she will take it to heart and not let it affect her school or anything. i want her to do well and succeed. as i do the older boy and youngest girl. i got a good line on some possible places to go and i can swing the storage unit so now i just gotta get the lead outta my ass and pack up. i'll keep ya posted.

regards odieoh24

 

[Jdk203]

i knew i wasnt alone. and it helps to hear support from the other guys who have been there. and from the guys who havent but spoke up anyway. tonight i saw the kids for the first time since fri. keep in mind none of them are actually my biological children. our middle girl is 16 and going thru that rebelious stage and her and i have been havin a few tiffs regarding attitude and respect as well as they way she talks to me or her mother. she's the one i'm worried most about! i talked to her tonight to assure her that what is going on between her mom and i has nothing to do with the argument we have had recently. she thinks its her fault and knows her gramma is screwing me and that i'm gonna be in a possible tight spot. she's worried about whats gonna happen to me and the dogs. afraid when i leave i'll just forget her like her father who she hasnt seen in at least 8 years-no b-day cards, no xmas presents, no phone calls or letters, nothing. i told her i loved her and always will and pray she will take it to heart and not let it affect her school or anything. i want her to do well and succeed. as i do the older boy and youngest girl. i got a good line on some possible places to go and i can swing the storage unit so now i just gotta get the lead outta my ass and pack up. i'll keep ya posted.

regards odieoh24

Gotta be a tough time for you. I've had my share of hard spots with my wife and it isn't easy. I hope you can have a clean break and keep contact with the kids. Your a good man for treating them like your own and not losing sight of that just because the ex wants you out. Keep your head up.

 

[06VMAXIMUS]

Odieoh, I didn't mean to sound so harsh on my last post! It just seems like whenever there is a breakup between a couple (married or not), the men are always the ones who end up getting screwed financially! You are the one who made the initial investment on the house, and therefore you should be entitled to reap any benefits from its sale as well. Its sucks when children are involved, regardless if they are yours or not. Contacting a lawyer was a good idea, he should be able to steer you in the right direction! Good luck and best wishes in this matter.

 

[Elimax]

Odieoh:

Very similar thing happend to me 8 years ago in NYC...my ex and I owned an apartment, had a dog (DAISY) I freakin' loved, etc.

Unlike your situation, my ex mom-in-law was geat...it was my ex-wife who was a bitch.

We liquidated, and it sucked. I moved back in with my parents.

BUT......IT WILL GET BETTER!!!!! You'll learn, and be smarter and wiser...I promise! I've since re-married (a GREAT woman this time) and am happier than ever.

You will make it. (And if I did, anyone can!)

Aaron (Elimax)

 

[odieoh24]

so i talked to a ton of lawyers today, got some thinkin to do. it's gonna take at least an initial 1000 to do just the background work to be able to get a lawyer to send her a letter saying pay me x-amount! then at least 10k to litigate it in court! i'll know a little bit more tomorrow and then i'll make a decision. i may have to "be good", get the rest of my money and then i'm outta here as soon as possible. it's becoming less about the money and more about how i've been feelin lately. i started packing stuff up and making my plan for the storage unit so it definitely has begun.

alter odieoh24

 

[naughtyG]

heya, sorry to hear you're having to deal with all this man.. Having gone through a divorce and moving and storing everything just over one year ago, I know exactly the feeling.

It's a real shame about the money thing, and I know just what you mean about the lawyers etc, total nightmare as of course they wanna help you as long as you pay them, only there's never any guarantee of anything by the end. Unfortunately on paper you don't have a leg to stand on, not being married and not being the owner of the place. Best you can do is take whatever they'll offer, and maybe try and sweet-talk your ex into something a little more fair in view of what you put in.

And as far as the kids are concerned, just do your best to be there for them when they need you - they'll let you know for sure. I spent the last 13 years away from my daughter and it sucked, every day along the way. But now she's turning 18 and we're gonna spend some time traveling together, so at least that's something.

Also, I know about the getting screwed thing, at the end of my first marriage the bitch took almost everything, even though she'd never paid a single bill during the whole relationship. I ended up with just enough cash out of selling our house to clear my debts, and she got enough to buy another house. In the end it's just money, all you can do is let it go, and you'll feel better about it in the long run.

Good luck, and let us know if you ever need to talk anything through.

 

[Thevmaxrider]

I am with ya brother!! Going through my own MESSY divorce right now:bang head: Beotch thinks she is getting half of everything and OH YEAH she doesn't think she should pay ANY of the marital debt, should be my responsbility. And to top it off she wants $1,000/month child support for my son, and she is trying to deny me access to visitation!!! And they wonder why some guys snap:damn angry: Thank God for a some of the gents here that let me vent once in a while, that and for Jodi who has helped me stay sane!

 

[odieoh24]

hang in there man, you got it way worse than i! we're not married and we have no kids in common. she's taking her stuff and the pop up trailer and computer we bought together. i get all my stuff and the 56" hd tv we bought together. she's even giving me the money i paid for the bike i gave her back because she knows her mother is not being fair. i dont wanna take it as the bike was a gift so she could learn to ride, but i need every penny i can get if i'm gonna have any chance of buying a place of my own with a 571 credit score! i'm hoping with a large enough downpayment i might be able to get some financing somehow. main concerns are getting stuff outta here and finding a place to go if i cannot buy. i'm stressing bigtime here as i'm not having a lot of luck with apts that are pet friendly. i cant get rid of them, they're 8 and 7 and i know they dont live forever but i wont turn my back on them. they've provided comfort in hard times and many good times and i owe them at least for that. they are the only loyal family i have left here. i just need to catch a few breaks and i know i can make it.

later odieoh24

 

[gamorg02]

thats shitty on both ends guys. jeff i'm a little more local, so let me know if you need help at all.