Bad joke thread.

[Bill Seward]

Clean or filthy, no problem.
Winner gets a beer at Thunder next June.


I'll start..


Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Christmas Day?




A: Tell her a joke on Christmas Eve.

 

[HyperPete]

Too bad you did not start this yesterday on National Aid and Abet a Punster Day!

Did you hear about the Alaskan lens grinder who threw himself into his work and became an optical Aleutian?

 

[rusty]

Clean or filthy, no problem.
Winner gets a beer at Thunder next June.


I'll start..


Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Christmas Day?




A: Tell her a joke on Christmas Eve.

What do you have with 32 Harley riders in one room-----> A full set of teeth:rofl_200:

 

[The Beekeeper]

Did you hear about the blonde who broke both of her legs raking leaves?










She fell out of the tree................

 

[forestdaledave]

What did one doe say to the other doe? "Lets go down to the Elks club and blow a couple of bucks".
Forestdaledave

 

[tothemax93]

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall........

Art



what do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water...........


Bob

 

[The Beekeeper]

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a leaf pile?







Russel.............

 

[tothemax93]

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs in front of your door...........


Matt

 

[The Beekeeper]

What do you call a man with no arms or legs behind a boat?









Skip............

 

[tothemax93]

what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in your mail box........




Bill.........

 

[tothemax93]

my wife treats me like a god. she gives me burnt offerings every night.


Marriage is like a midnight phone call. First you get the ring, then you wake up.

 

[98Redlne]

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virgina?

If it were invented anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush

 

[98Redlne]

Did you hear the West Virgina state library recently had a fire?

It was a total loss...burned right down to the axles

 

[Tex85]

What is better than roses on a piano?

Tulips on your organ!

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk

 

[rusty]

Q: How do you get a one armed Harley owner out of a tree A: Wave to him.

 

[alorio1]

Why do gerillas have big nostralls?
Coz they got big fingers!!!!!!!!!

 

[alorio1]

A man takes his pet monkey to a bar.
The man is sitting at the bar having a beer, and the monkey jumps up on the bar and spots the drink condiment tray and starts to eat the red marchino cherries.

He then spots the red 3 ball on the pool table, so he jumps down off the bar and up on the pool table and swallows down the red 3 ball.
The following week the man comes back into the bar with his pet monkey and while he is having a beer, the monkey starts taking the red marchino cherries from the drink condiment tray and puts each one up his ass before eating it.

Confused, the bar tender asks the man why is your monkey putting the cherries up his ass before he eats them, the man replied that after he swallowed that red 3 ball last week, he now checks everything he eats for size first.

 

[srk468]

A little boy gets caught bringing the family cat to school and the teacher asks him "why on earth would you bring your cat with you to school???" The little boy begins to cry and responds "I overheard daddy tell mommy that he was gonna eat that pussy after I left for school!!"

sent from my HTC Rezound using tapatalk

 

[Itgoes]

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/3594943/penguin_blew_a_seal/

:rofl_200:Cracks me up every time! :rofl_200:

 

[alorio1]

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's, when they struck up a conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and Said "So, why are you here?"



The yellow Lab replied, "I'll admit it, I'm a pisser. I piss on everything... the Sofa, the curtains, the cat and the kids. But the final straw was last night, When I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."



The black Lab said, "So what's the vet going to do?"



"Gonna cut my nuts off" came the reply from the yellow Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down."



The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked "So, why are you here?"



The Black Lab said, "Got my faults too; I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and Trees. I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the Carpets, but I went over the line last night, when I dug a great big hole in my Owners''s couch." "So what are they going to do to you ?" the Yellow Lab enquired.. "Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said.



The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "Why are you here?" "I'm a humper," said the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts; I want to hump everything I see." Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away" The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, it's nuts off for you too, huh?"



The Great Dane said, "No. Apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped!"