No child should be disappointed

[Fire-medic]

I taught in the public school system as a high school science teacher for a couple of years before I decided that my self-respect would not allow me to withstand the abuse capable of being dished-out by 14 y.o. adolescents.

When I was attending public school, such behavior would lead to an appointment w/the school's 'corporal punishment' services provider, which was usually the gym teacher and his paddle. I was never on the receiving end of that, but those who were usually were not-keen on repeating .

Court-mandated ankle monitors were daily seen on the campus where I taught. The school had a local police officer assigned to the campus, and he and I would stand outside between classes and he would tell me which students were in the court system for what offenses.

Maybe pain isn't in-fashion today as a behavior modifier, but in my adolescence, it was! And, it was effective. Nowadays, every child "deserves a reward," "everyone wins," "to deny a child succeess is to harm their self-esteem," etc. Well when you try to find employment, and hundreds of people are contesting for the jobs, you don't get to pay rent or buy groceries unless you "win the job." How does the belief "no child should lose" and "everyone gets a trophy" prepare children for the competitive world of self-sustenance as adults? When they turn 18, do they "get it?" I don't think so!

What needs to be done to restore control over the school systems where we don't have adolescents shooting each other? I am not referring to school shootings, I am referring to adolescents below the age of 18 y.o. carrying guns and using them with impunity in our communities. By the time the gang-bangers get to that point, are they long-gone from the schools? Where are the fathers? Are they themselves in jail, gone from the household, or otherwise 'absent' from their offsprings' lives? If so, aren't there other adult males and females capable of disciplining their offspring or those within their expanded families?

I am interested to hear what others think about this issue.:ummm:

 

[PDWeyand]

well I use punishment system in our house, starts with talking to, next step is a corner and then next step is hand to ass. Now my children understand that daddy does not play games. I do not have to get to step 3 very often, and my children all know that their behaviour away from home will be handled at home. So my children do not need but a small reminder to be on their best. My children know I love them, and when they are right I am 100% behind them but if they are wrong I'm really 100% on them. Children need rules and boundary's, you can not reason with a child they do not want reason and when they figure that they can get their way they will push till they are in so much trouble that they make a mistake that they can not return from. I laugh when I hear a parent tell me that they are buddies with their child, the child is driven that bus lol. Another thing that as lead to children seeming to be out of control, is their world is all safe. I rode in the back of my dad's pick up, we never used seatbelts, play ground equipment was steel and on a paved ground, we did not wear helmets while bike riding or state boarding or life jackets when boating. We that are older than 35 or so have stories how when we got burned on the play ground slide during the summer or when we fell off our bike while jumping a home made jump in the middle of the street. We learn that shit did hurt, we broke a few things along the way to growing up but how many times did we make same the mistakes. Children now days have body pads and helmets and when they fall it did not hurt, the playground equipment is in a soft bed of mulch or rubber padded areas and made of mainly plastic. So they do not learn those life lessons. We did not have games systems like wii, play station or xbox. We got outside and played, built things. I was never home during the summer. We have become our own worst problem in wanting better for our children we have taken their life lessons and that we are to respect each other. Sure their where bullies back then but I never remember anyone killing themselfs over it. Children are what the learn and if they are not taught respect and manners they will have none.

 

[midmoraider]

^^^This x1000^^^ I just turned 40 and have two girls, ages 9 and 6. We live in a pretty quiet college town and send the girls to a private Christian school. The values they are being taught both at school and home seem so different from the norm these days. They know actions have consequenses both good and bad. Our daycare lady who watched them when they were little always used to say, "I need to send so and so home with you for the weekend to straighten them out. Your kids are so well behaved." That's not an accident. You have to be on the ball constantly, because if you start letting yourself slip, then the ones who suffer in the end will be the kiddos. AND I don't make them wear those stupid helmets while riding their bikes on the sidewalk.

 

[PDWeyand]

You have to be on the ball constantly, because if you start letting yourself slip, then the ones who suffer in the end will be the kiddos. AND I don't make them wear those stupid helmets while riding their bikes on the sidewalk.

I did not let mine wear the stupid helmets either. But your are right it starts at home and you have to stay on top of them, once it starts to get out of hand it grows. And you can show love and caring without abuse.

 

[Junior6996]

I think it's funny how our view on life runs so close to our view on bikes probly the age of most of us but I think a poll of this forum would turn up very few who disagree with the previous!

I couldn't agree more w the views expressed above

 

[redneksoldier]

I'm not very old, but my mom was an ol'school parent. She whooped my ass on a regular basis, and I deserved every ass whoopin' I got. When I was a kid, most of my friends' parents were not this way. Now, only a few of us have grown up to be productive citizens of our great country. My best friend was one of those kids who could get away with murder at home. Now, he is a narco-feind who has just about robbed his own family blind, spent a lot of time in jail, and still lives at home with his dad. Go figure...

 

[a113ycat]

Children are sponges. They absorb what ever information and behaviors they are taught. This begins at birth, I was a skeptic until I had 2 kids of my own. My son lives with me and my daughter lives with her mother. We have 2 entirely different life styles and it is mirrored in my kids. What we as parents have to do is cognitively think about what we say and do constantly because the kids are learning our behaviors and will one day emulate them in a spooky way be it good or bad. My parents were the "do as I say not as I do type" and that my friends was a mistake in my opinion. I learned some not so good things from my surroundings that carried me down a road that I felt I had no choice but to take. Today I put the effort into teaching my kids that there are 2 sides to every decision and help them weigh the consequences accordingly. It is my hopes that they will better me in there lives. Discipline is a necessity that the system and we as a culture are seemingly lack in having. Maybe I'm wrong but to each his own right?

 

[98Redlne]

I don't have children at this point however most of my friends and relatives do.
From what I have seen, I agree 100% with the viewpoint that has been expressed in this thread.

I have one friend has two very high energy, but very well behaved kids. They are polite, respectful, and generally well behaved. As all kids to from time to time they get a bit rowdy but my buddy only needs to raise his voice just a bit and both kids immediately fall into line (you don't want to test dad's resolve...). Both he and his wife are not afraid to administer a little "seat-o-the-pants" related attitude adjustment. They don't need to do it very often and need it less and less as the kids get older.

Another friend has two high energy kids as well but these kids get away with murder. Discipline is non existent. "If you keep doing that you are going to get a spanking....", the spanking never is enforced and the child has learned that it is an idle threat. Both parents seem to tune out the kids constant screaming and obnoxious behavior. It makes me nuts to be around them. Both children need some serious attitude adjustment and need to learn that certain behavior is unacceptable, however both parents just continue to coddle them, further reinforcing the poor behavior. I don't even want to think of what they will be like at 17+ years old...

I think that there are two things that kids need to ensure they grow up right. The first is consistency. You need to be consistent with everything, both good and bad. It allows them to be secure in their surroundings and confident in what comes next.
The second thing is personal responsibility. Sounds like a word to be used more for adults, but children need to learn that certain actions lead to certain reactions. If you misbehave then you WILL get punished. No "ifs ands or buts". Once the ground rules are established they will learn the boundaries and try to stay within them. Not to say that you need to be an ogre or an ultra strict disciplinarian, however there should be minimum levels that are set and maintained. Warnings are first (the parental equivalent of a shot over the bow). Fail to heed the warning and punishment will be administered.

 

[a113ycat]

I don't have children at this point however most of my friends and relatives do.
From what I have seen, I agree 100% with the viewpoint that has been expressed in this thread.

I have one friend has two very high energy, but very well behaved kids. They are polite, respectful, and generally well behaved. As all kids to from time to time they get a bit rowdy but my buddy only needs to raise his voice just a bit and both kids immediately fall into line (you don't want to test dad's resolve...). Both he and his wife are not afraid to administer a little "seat-o-the-pants" related attitude adjustment. They don't need to do it very often and need it less and less as the kids get older.

Another friend has two high energy kids as well but these kids get away with murder. Discipline is non existent. "If you keep doing that you are going to get a spanking....", the spanking never is enforced and the child has learned that it is an idle threat. Both parents seem to tune out the kids constant screaming and obnoxious behavior. It makes me nuts to be around them. Both children need some serious attitude adjustment and need to learn that certain behavior is unacceptable, however both parents just continue to coddle them, further reinforcing the poor behavior. I don't even want to think of what they will be like at 17+ years old...

I think that there are two things that kids need to ensure they grow up right. The first is consistency. You need to be consistent with everything, both good and bad. It allows them to be secure in their surroundings and confident in what comes next.
The second thing is personal responsibility. Sounds like a word to be used more for adults, but children need to learn that certain actions lead to certain reactions. If you misbehave then you WILL get punished. No "ifs ands or buts". Once the ground rules are established they will learn the boundaries and try to stay within them. Not to say that you need to be an ogre or an ultra strict disciplinarian, however there should be minimum levels that are set and maintained. Warnings are first (the parental equivalent of a shot over the bow). Fail to heed the warning and punishment will be administered.

I completely agree with you.....

Now dont get me wrong but this is pretty funny,
I was watching the Dog Whisperer this morning at about 6am or so and if you replace dog with the word kid in your statement you my friend would be Caesar, Maybe you can get a show called the Kid whisperer:confused2::rofl_200::rofl_200:

 

[tothemax93]

I completely agree with you.....

Now dont get me wrong but this is pretty funny,
I was watching the Dog Whisperer this morning at about 6am or so and if you replace dog with the word kid in your statement you my friend would be Caesar, Maybe you can get a show called the Kid whisperer:confused2::rofl_200::rofl_200:

http://www.cesarsway.com/newsandeve...storm&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=southpark

check out the video:rofl_200:

 

[a113ycat]

http://www.cesarsway.com/newsandeve...storm&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=southpark

check out the video:rofl_200:

:clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping:

You made me spit my Scotch all over the lap top!!!
:rofl_200::rofl_200::rofl_200::rofl_200::rofl_200:

Honestly though yeah thats what I was hearing this morning!

 

[98Redlne]

http://www.cesarsway.com/newsandeve...storm&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=southpark

check out the video:rofl_200:

That was feaking hilarious!

 

[Bill Seward]

You kill - you die. Simple as that. I don't care if the killer is a 15 year old punk, or a rich Hollywood type. I will moderate that statement a bit by allowing for reasonable doubt. However, if the law's got the goods on you - without doubt - just lay down and take the shot........

Do the crime - pay the price.

 

[Fire-medic]

A couple of members mentioned the stupidity of making children wear bicycle helmets. In FL, it's the law that children wear helmets.

While at work today, I found this on the FL State Dep't. of Health newsletter for Jan. 2011.

​

The Bicycle Helmet Promotion Program?s goal is to increase bicycle helmet use among children in low‐income and underserved communities. Since 2000, over 136,500 helmets have been distributed throughout all 67 counties.
?From 2003‐2009, the hospitalization rate for non‐fatal traumatic brain injuries sustained in a bicycle crash was reduced by 32% among residents ages 5‐14 years old.
?ʺOn average, a $12 bicycle helmet for ages 3‐14 years, generates $580 in benefits to societyʺ(Children?s Safety Network, 2010, p. 4). Total savings since program inception is $79,170,000.00.

Whether or not you agree with the wearing of helmets by children operating bicycles, the statistics amassed by the State of FL are powerful incentives to see that your child is protected by one. Every week I am in the pediatric intensive care unit of a Level 1 trauma facility. Occasionally in evaluating a patient the causation of their hospitalization is a traumatic brain injury where they were not protected by a helmet. EMS services and hospital E.R.'s contribute to databases about their call/patient volume, including events leading up to the hospitalization and the tracking of the patient through the system of care to discharge or mortality.

Just as it is the adult rider of a motorcycle who chooses to wear or not to wear a helmet, it is also the responsibility of the adult parent to see that when mandated by law, and even in the event that wearing a bicycle helmet is not mandated by law, your child is protected by a helmet. I have seen too-many children who are victims because of not being protected. When you are making the case for individual choice, consider the alternative subsequent consequences should a child be struck by a motor vehicle or have a significant impact due to a fall from the bicycle. Your child's future may depend on your decision, and most parents would list 'protecting my child from harm' as a primary concern in their lives.

As an adult, I have 'retired' motorcycle helmets, fire helmets, and bicycle helmets because they served their purposes, they protected my 'central processing unit' from serious harm. In the community, it is the responsibility of the fire/rescue service providers to engage in the easiest form of injury control, which is public education and injury prevention. Fire dept's. across the nation give out helmets free-of-charge in their respective communities. As the State of FL report documents, these have been targeted in-part in socioeconomically-depressed areas to help reduce the incidence of serious injuries, and the program works.
Give your child the benefit of safety and protection from brain trauma by promoting and requiring their use of helmets.

 

[Rusty McNeil]

As far as the parenting thing goes,

I learned this originally when I use to keep horse from an old man I knew.

During every single "exchange" you have with you your horse, either he is training you or you are training him......

Which is it going to be??????????


I think it applies to kids just as well.....

 

[Rusty McNeil]

As far as the parenting thing goes,

I learned this originally when I use to keep horses, an old man I knew passed it on to me...

During every single "exchange" you have with you your horse, either he is training you or you are training him......

Which is it going to be??????????


I think it applies to kids just as well.....

 

[PDWeyand]

Fire-medic, now I am not going to say that the people that ride bikes or motorcycle do not need to wear a helmet. I use one when I ride. Now my oldest used to ride a custom bike I made for her. And every time she wrecked or dropped her bike, it was never an issue for head but her knees, arms and hands on the other hand took a beating. My son has no balance and is deaf so he will never be able to ride a bike or motorcycle. So I bought him a tricycle. My youngest daughter is a daredevil at heart and is always doing crazy things. I send her out on a scooter with full gear, including the helmet. I turn around and she has pulled half of it off. So I end up taking the scooter away.
I would not give one of my children anything to hurt them self's with. My wife or I supervise them to make sure that they are, one using the item correctly and two, that they will not hurt themself or someone else. I do how ever disagree with a state mandated law. The law has good intent and protected many. If you really wanted to keep anyone safe from danger then we need to be in a bubble, which many parents try to do. I do let my children be themselfs and learn. The best way to learn something is to do it, in a safe manner. I have taken my oldest to a indoor shooting range. She learned that guns are a powerful weapon. Now I do not owe a gun for various reason but I know how to and so does she. I try to enrich my children with good common since, manors and respect. They know that they are loved and cared for. They also know that there are rules and that they need to follow them. And when they break those rules there is a price to be paid.
I was told when my oldest daughter was born that "the best I could, is by my child"

 

[Rusty McNeil]

I wonder how many of those adult bicycle riding trend humping fashion lemmings that wear that goofy looking helmet also own a Harley and dress up like a pirate and ride thier H-D with no helmet since it's "what everyone else does"

I also wonder that if a nation of kids back in the 50's had grown up wearing bicycle helmets we wouldn't have had anyone with the attitude to take that first spaceship ride to the moon due to the unknown safety issues.....

Might get hurt......

This post is on no way an opinion of the value of bicycle helmets.....

 

[PDWeyand]

I wonder how many of those adult bicycle riding trend humping fashion lemmings that wear that goofy looking helmet also own a Harley and dress up like a pirate and ride thier H-D with no helmet since it's "what everyone else does"

This post is on no way an opinion of the value of bicycle helmets.....

I know that there are helmet laws in some state and not in others. I have a full face bucket. I like it for a few reasons, mainly cuts the wind noise down. I have gone with out it but if I am going to jump out on the highways I really want on one. A bug hitting you in forehead hurts when you are running 60ish. But when I am riding my bicycle I use a 1/2 helmet, it fits better than the goofy bicycle helmet's and is just is lite weight. But I have also been lucky that I have not dropped either in awhile. The last time I dropped a motorcycle was total a doh move my part. I came to a stop and forgot to drop a foot on the ground. My leg protected the bike from real damage. It was a hard pick up being that I was under the bike. A person in the other lane jumped out to help me up. God did I feel stupid, nothing like looking a newbe. I was not really hurt nor the bike.

 

[Fire-medic]

"I wonder how many of those adult bicycle riding trend humping fashion lemmings that wear that goofy looking helmet also own a Harley and dress up like a pirate and ride thier H-D with no helmet since it's "what everyone else does"-Rusty McNeil

Hahaha! I don't believe there are many people who ride bicycles with a 'full-kit' of Tour de France clothing, and who then ride H-D's. If there are, maybe we'll hear from them!

I have two hand-built 'made-in-the-USA' bikes (bicycles), on for off-road and one is a roadbike. I have owned them for many years, I used to race offroad but watching the criterion riders and the pros was enough for me when it came to roadracing. Yeah, I have the clothes, gloves, and shoes, and wear a helmet. I am so-used to wearing a helmet, it feels odd to ride w/o one now. I wouldn't ride five blocks to the store w/o one.

I grew up in the '50's/'60's and took a share of abrasions, I never broke a bone on a bike as a kid and here I am today. Today's EPS-foam/hard plastic coated helmets offer superior ventilation and better protection to your head than the original rigid plastic & polyurethane foam helmets which came-out in the 1970's. Those things were heavy, had no ventilation to speak-of, and made you look like Bobby Hull-except Bobby famously didn't wear a helmet. OK, like Maurice Richard. Er, he didn't wear one either! Well, you know what I mean! Made you look like a hockey player!

For me, it comes down to wanting to protect that which I value. What do you value?