Do you have it (your Battery Tender) plugged in when you are trying to make the connection? If yes, unplug it, then connect it making sure you have the polarity correct, and then plug it in.
If you're trying to charge a dead battery, it may have an internal dead short which will never allow you to re-charge it. That could also be the source of your arcing.
Batteries can explode from sparks when trying to make connections, that's why it's a good idea to make your connection to ground to a place on the frame away from the battery, after having the positive attached. I have treated a few unfortunate battery servicing victims over the years, and they all were in pain. Don't forget your eye protection and long sleeved shirt. If exposed, use lots-LOTS- of water. When messing w/fuel or batteries I keep a charged garden hose nearby and a fire extinguisher too. A 5 lb. A-B-C rating should take-care of most issues. That, and a cellphone to 911:biglaugh: