The Joke thread!
- Thread starter Bill Kratzenberg
- Start date
Help Support VMAX Forum:
alorio1
Well-Known Member
This chain letter does work...it’s confirmed!
I never send chain letters, but this one works.
You will be offered sex by simply passing it on!
It's incredible!
Send “OBAMA LOVES YOU” to ten recipients.
At least 9 will reply telling you to go fuck yourself .
I never send chain letters, but this one works.
You will be offered sex by simply passing it on!
It's incredible!
Send “OBAMA LOVES YOU” to ten recipients.
At least 9 will reply telling you to go fuck yourself .
Traumahawk
Well-Known Member
LOL....both of those are funny.
Yep !! :biglaugh:
Agreed. +1 :rofl_200:
edit : plagarised alorio1's joje for facebook. Changed the name to the Australian Prime Minister. Joke still works.
MtnMax/Magniac
Well-Known Member
dannymax
Well-Known Member
A suspended Lawyer, an Illegal Alien, a pathological Liar, a Muslim, a terrible Golfer and a black Guy walk into a bar.
Bartender says;
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
"What'll it be, Mr. President?
Bartender says;
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
"What'll it be, Mr. President?
MtnMax/Magniac
Well-Known Member
A guy is looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library.
He asked a girl: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?"
The girl replied in a loud voice:
"I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
All the students in the library started staring at the guy;
He was truly embarrassed and moved to another table.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and
Said with a laugh:
"I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking.
I guess you felt embarrassed, right?"
The guy then responded in a loud voice:
"$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? . . . THAT'S TOO MUCH!"
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy whispered to her: "I study law, and I know how to make people pay
For their stupidity.
He asked a girl: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?"
The girl replied in a loud voice:
"I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
All the students in the library started staring at the guy;
He was truly embarrassed and moved to another table.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and
Said with a laugh:
"I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking.
I guess you felt embarrassed, right?"
The guy then responded in a loud voice:
"$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? . . . THAT'S TOO MUCH!"
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy whispered to her: "I study law, and I know how to make people pay
For their stupidity.
MtnMax/Magniac
Well-Known Member
:rofl_200:
MtnMax/Magniac
Well-Known Member
MtnMax/Magniac
Well-Known Member
:biglaugh:
A motorcycle cop pulls over...
A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light.
The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward
the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!
So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms. The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything.
When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket.
He then hands it to the 'violator' for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.
The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an *******!"
Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.
Under cross examination the defense attorney asks; "Officer is this a reasonable
facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?"
Officer responds, "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."
Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"
"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."
"What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"
"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."
"Aggressive and hostile?"
"Yes, Sir.
"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for *******?"
"Well, sir, you know your client better than I do."
A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light.
The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward
the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!
So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms. The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything.
When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket.
He then hands it to the 'violator' for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.
The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an *******!"
Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.
Under cross examination the defense attorney asks; "Officer is this a reasonable
facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?"
Officer responds, "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."
Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"
"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."
"What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"
"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."
"Aggressive and hostile?"
"Yes, Sir.
"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for *******?"
"Well, sir, you know your client better than I do."
Traumahawk
Well-Known Member
Thats good.
MtnMax/Magniac
Well-Known Member
Concerned about his relationship with Israel, Obama announced that he is converting to the Jewish Faith. Don't attempt to call the White House, their phone lines have been tied up by the thousands of citizens volunteering to perform the circumcision.
Might I suggest buying one of these from the French and installing it on the front lawn of the White House so all of America can witness?
In the dawn of time there was a cavemen named UG, UG had a dog as most cavemen did at the time for hunting. UG however did not have a woman yet he had a small club
One evening after a long day of hunting and gathering UG and his dog were sitting around the fire. While UG was cleaning fish and sorting through the nuts and berries he rummaged up that day he noticed the dog quietly liking himself. Well ol UG not having a woman started wondering how that felt. However as hard as he tried and not matter how he sat poor UG just couldn't do it.
Oddly enough though this was the same day peanut butter was invented....:biglaugh:
One evening after a long day of hunting and gathering UG and his dog were sitting around the fire. While UG was cleaning fish and sorting through the nuts and berries he rummaged up that day he noticed the dog quietly liking himself. Well ol UG not having a woman started wondering how that felt. However as hard as he tried and not matter how he sat poor UG just couldn't do it.
Oddly enough though this was the same day peanut butter was invented....:biglaugh:
MtnMax/Magniac
Well-Known Member
Similar threads
