Axioms

[jfeagins]

If at first you don't succeed...

...maybe skydiving isn't for you.

 

[Blurr]

That guy is so crooked, when he dies they are going to have screw him in to the ground.

That girl is as homely as a mile of mud fence on a rainy day.

Well, I've been to two wild goat milkin' contest at a contry fair but I ain't never seen nothin' like that.

 

[Rusty McNeil]

So tight he screws his socks in in the morning

 

[Rusty McNeil]

Her face looks like it caught on fire and got beat out with a rake

 

[Rusty McNeil]

Uglier than a mud fence

 

[Rusty McNeil]

Dumber than a bag of hammers

 

[Rusty McNeil]

So dumb if he fell in a pool full of tits he'd come up sucking his own thumb

 

[Rusty McNeil]

Luck is so bad it's raining pussy and I get hit with a dick

 

[Rusty McNeil]

just found out I'm pregnant and the company is the father

 

[Rusty McNeil]

So cold here democrats have been spotted with their hands in their own pockets.

 

[Rusty McNeil]

Her dress is so short it's giving me a draft.

 

[Rusty McNeil]

Life is like a cock; when its hard you get screwed, when its soft you can't beat it.

 

[dannymax]

^^^^^
:rofl_200::rofl_200::rofl_200:

 

[jfeagins]

Eagles may soar amongst the clouds...

...but weasels don't get sucked into jet aircraft engines.

 

[jfeagins]

If at first you dont succeed, keep on suckin till you do suck seed.

 

[jfeagins]

"Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid." John Wayne

Amen Mr. Wayne, however, current trends & Democrats everywhere are working hard to reverse this.

 

[jfeagins]

Anything is possible. . . .if you don't know what you're doing.

 

[dannymax]

Anything is possible. . . .if you don't know what you're doing.

.....and nothing is difficult to the person who doesn't have to do it himself.

 

[jfeagins]

If, when hiking in the mountains, a bear attacks, you need not be the fastest runner, you simply need to outrun at least one other hiker. If in doubt of this, remember: walking sticks can be used to disable someone's knee.

 

[jfeagins]

.....and nothing is difficult to the person who doesn't have to do it himself.

Very true. I have a couple people resembling this axiom occupying offices near me as I type.