I'm getting divorced

[hubeerjw]

I haven't even read through all the responses yet, but I will, I just wanted to give you my thoughts before I read others. First off, I'm very sorry to hear about this, you have had a few rough times here lately. Second what was said about, "things happen for a reason" is VERY true. A positive attitude will produce more good than anything else. I'm not a religious person, but do believe in Karma, and I really think the golden rule is about the best thing out there to follow.
Good luck with all of this, I'll keep a positive thoughts and say my own little prayer for you... please let us know if there is anything we can do!

Jeff

 

[DenniSM]

The advice people are giving you is gold. Just because you and the wife are not in love anymore, doesn't mean you have to hate each other. Like they said make sure you and her get along as well as possible.
My wife is on her second marrage. My wife and her ex have never fought since I have known her. Her son is happy with 4 parents that love him and we have even all done stuff together. We all get along great. Its possible. And nice.

 

[Elimax]

My profound sympathy...I divorced my wife 4 years ago, and I PROMISE that things will get better for you.

I'm now married again, and getting re-married was one of the BEST things I've ever done. Again, things will get better for you!

Elimax

 

[megadeth1]

I went through it aprox 3 years ago, it is heart wrenching/gut wrenching. You can do this, you sound like me, your son is everything. Simply, make the most of every second w/ your son. Every day is a gift! Most of all talk to him,listen,listen,listen. Explain the situation, and NEVER badmouth the X in front of him. He needs his dad now more than ever. I wish you the best, as I said, it is tough, just focus on his feelings. Good luck my friend! Megadeth1

 

[COP RUNNER]

ACTUALLY SOME OF YOUR PRAYERS MAY HAVE BEEN ANSWERED , I MET WITH A FAMILY;Y COUNSELOR A COUPLE WEEKS AGO TO FIND OUT WHATS BEST FOR MY SON & SHE SAID OBVIOUSLY FOR US TO STAY TOGETHER & GET COUNSELING & TRY TO MAKE IT WORK . SO AS OF 10 MINUTES AGO ( OUT OF THE BLUE ) THATS WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO ! ... I HOPE THAT IT WORKS ! ... I JUST CANT IMAGINE WAKING UP WITH WITHOUT MY SON THERE ! ... SO WE WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENS . ... :confused2: THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT !

 

[tugla]

hang in there man, its a good thing that you two can look at whats important in your lives and work things out hopefully. Chin up were all pullin' for ya.

 

[dannymax]

This is great news Timmy, might be just the ticket to getting things back on track again. Those counsellors are pretty sharp and have seen a lot....I sure hope they can help you.

 

[4gasem]

Hey Tim, Glad to hear you and she are willing to give this a try. Try to think back to when you met each other. WTH made it work back then? Maybe try to get away (just the two of you) and reconnect. Go on some dates... Do things you weren't doing previously. In bed or otherwise...

Good luck, and remember your doing this for you her AND your son.

Chris

 

[1967vmax]

If i doesnt work no one can ever say you didnt try. You may want to talk to a pastor or priest i know we did counseling they covered sum stuff but not all. A local pastor is talking to my wife now, and told us to rent the dvd Fireproof. I wont get into details on what almost ended my marriage but i will say that you both must want it to work,if you guys are in it just for the kids its not going to last long term and if it does you will prob hate each other. We have been married for 20yrs and have 4 kids and i can honestly say that i have never been MORE in love with my wife than i am now. I take it day by day and she could walk through that door tommorow and say its over. But i know in my heart i gave it my best shot. Good luck man JIM 3933

 

[gunrunner]

ACTUALLY SOME OF YOUR PRAYERS MAY HAVE BEEN ANSWERED , I MET WITH A FAMILY;Y COUNSELOR A COUPLE WEEKS AGO TO FIND OUT WHATS BEST FOR MY SON & SHE SAID OBVIOUSLY FOR US TO STAY TOGETHER & GET COUNSELING & TRY TO MAKE IT WORK . SO AS OF 10 MINUTES AGO ( OUT OF THE BLUE ) THATS WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO ! ... I HOPE THAT IT WORKS ! ... I JUST CANT IMAGINE WAKING UP WITH WITHOUT MY SON THERE ! ... SO WE WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENS . ... :confused2: THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT !

That is good news just remember what ever happens always put ya boy first .
Good luck .

 

[Diablotin]

yeah good news Tim, specially before xmas.
Happy to hear that for your son

 

[Geek_Law]

I had three kids when I got divorced. It's a huge pain in the ass for everybody, but you'll be happier once you get that piece of paper saying everything is final. As for what to do with your kid, just spend time with him. Whatever the custody break down is, be sure that you are there for him and with him when its your turn. Don't be a "disneyland dad" that ignores him 11.9 months per year and then goes over the top one weekend a year.

Anyway, you'll be emotionally conflicted for a bit, even if you don't acknowledge it or think you will be. Its just human nature. I pride myself on being a cold heartless *******, and it still affected me.

Plow through it. Get it done. Don't get hung up on the petty ********. Assets get split 50/50 and custody is tough, but needs to be worked out to be fair so that each of you have time with him.

Then move on. There is life after divorce. My only regret about my first marriage is that it lasted as long as it did

EDIT: I just read some of the posts saying you are trying to work it out. So my above remarks are a bit out of context now, but best of luck regardless of what you do, and if it does come to the big "D" ... just plow through it and get reacquainted with being single. All the best either way!!!

 

[Bill Kratzenberg]

Hope everything works out for you Tim, I will keep you and your family in my prayers too...

 

[COP RUNNER]

I love all of you guy's ! ... All of you are a big part of my life & Ive only met like 14 of you , but I do consider all of you part of my family ! dannymax , I love you brother ! .. Thanks for talking with me from time to time !

 

[TURBOVMAX]

:thumbs up: Good news Tim!

 

[vmax626]

I was married for 8 years and went through the same thing but it was my my daughter who took it bad ( she was a daddy`s girl and I carried her everywhere) and it was really hard for me too but, the one thing that needs to be done is that you have to make your son understand that it`s not their fault.
I know it will be hard to explain because at that age they can`t understand why mom and dad don`t love each other anymore.
It`s like their first blow from life but if you and your wife agree to be the best parents that you can be to your kid in time he will adjust to the situation, just keep loving them and be the best dad that you can and don`t bad talk about mom when you are together.
Iwill pray for the both of you and your situation, but in the meantime you need to be strong for the both of you .
Hang in there and take care,
<<Dave>>unk:

 

[CaptainKyle]

Glad to here yall are gonna try and work it out. I wish the best for yall !

 

[vmaxride06]

Tim, I hope all works out well for you. I will keep your family in our prayers.
I have been away with work, just catching this now, I am glad the thread turned positive. I have only met you once but your like a brother from a different mother...Keep the chin up man....

 

[88vmx12]

Hang in there! I have also put the same senerio in my head a few times for myself. I can only run it for just a few seconds. I can imagine the pain. It would kill me. I sit and think about how I would be able to handle it. it is not something that I would ever wish even on my worst enemy. I have hard time with it because I love my wife so much and my kids. If I ever lost them due to some strange thing. I would be a wreck, People would honestly need to keep an eye on me... Keep your head high, and just remember be civil to one another, kids aren't stupid. They will figure out who they like or don't like. Be yourself. Another thing to remember keep living for your kid!

Scooter

 

[Vinmax]

Hey Coprunner,
Find and read a book called 'Hold Me Tight.' I just went through some rough times with my wife. We're getting back on track right now. The book helps you to find some insight as to why couples have a hard time getting along sometimes. To sum it up, they don't feel 'safe' anymore and feel that they don't have each other's back. My counselor had us read it.

After you read that,,,,, read, read, and read some more as to how men and women think differently and how to meet each other's needs. Life can really be happy for couples when they feel safe with each other. There's nothing to be gained from blaming, is pretty much what I learned from reading and practicing what I learned.

Good Luck to you and your family,
Vinnie