sleepless nights

[mattness]

theres times where i sit for a couple hours trying to sleep. its usually when im worried about something or thinking about whether something or someone is safe.

turn on a fan for background noise or something.
and relax relax relax. think about everything you have going for you man. a sweet gf, a pimp ass vmax, a TV, you can pee standing up. youve got nothing to be upset about.

if all that doesnt work...

drugs.

lots of drugs.

 

[88vmx12]

theres times where i sit for a couple hours trying to sleep. its usually when im worried about something or thinking about whether something or someone is safe.

turn on a fan for background noise or something.
and relax relax relax. think about everything you have going for you man. a sweet gf, a pimp ass vmax, a TV, you can pee standing up. youve got nothing to be upset about.

if all that doesnt work...

drugs.

lots of drugs.

Thanks I think you hit the nail on the head! I had recently been caring / always caring for someone for over 20 years now. We ran into one another just recently after no contact for the 20 years or so. I have been hung up on her for a very very long time. Bad enough to make me wonder if my wife of 10 years was the right one. When reuniting after 20 years via the net excited to chat. We caught up on life and family over the last couple weeks. We even sent pics back and forth and talked on the phone for a voice check. We are both married and happy with our spouces ( but I wondered if I was until I got it all out ) . I should have told her way back then how I felt and had been holding it in for all those years. Actually looking for her on and off through the last 20 yrs. I finally had to tell her what was bottled up inside, it took me a few days pc by pc. But I think I finally emptied it all out as of yesterday. I am now sleeping a few more hours than I have been. If it wasn't for her willing to listen to me telling her what I felt. Like if she shut me out and quit talking to me. I would be totally screwed and probably to a counseler. As of yet we still talk and text back and forth. She is a wonderful woman to have listened to me. This just goes to show me that life takes us on some strange journeys, weather I like what journey I have taken or not such is life. I have always linked my life to music and to my favorite band Great White and Jack Russells solo album. As the days have passed with her my songs have changed running through my head. it went from GW "Heartbreaker" to GW "Silent Night " then now Jack Russells "The Best is Yet Come" I think I have some what counciled myself through this. Songs changing from Jelousy against her hubby , to regret of not telling her what i was thinking and the life I chose , to Life a head of my self... It was rugged I have never been so immotional in my life. Crying all the time, Joy that I found her , then regret that I was married and had kids , then knowing that even if I was single she was married and there was no way in hell that anything would happen between us again. Because she was married. More or less we both will never cheat on our spouces period. I told her that later in life if we are still living and our spouces have passed on. We might be old and haggard but then we can give it another try.. She agreed with a smile.
Whew another counsiling sesson gone good, Each time I talk the easier it becomes to let go

Just remember " it's time to realise........ the best is yet to come" Jack Russell's "Best is yet to come"

Gannon

 

[dannymax]

Thanks I think you hit the nail on the head! I had recently been caring / always caring for someone for over 20 years now. We ran into one another just recently after no contact for the 20 years or so. I have been hung up on her for a very very long time. Bad enough to make me wonder if my wife of 10 years was the right one. When reuniting after 20 years via the net excited to chat. We caught up on life and family over the last couple weeks. We even sent pics back and forth and talked on the phone for a voice check. We are both married and happy with our spouces ( but I wondered if I was until I got it all out ) . I should have told her way back then how I felt and had been holding it in for all those years. Actually looking for her on and off through the last 20 yrs. I finally had to tell her what was bottled up inside, it took me a few days pc by pc. But I think I finally emptied it all out as of yesterday. I am now sleeping a few more hours than I have been. If it wasn't for her willing to listen to me telling her what I felt. Like if she shut me out and quit talking to me. I would be totally screwed and probably to a counseler. As of yet we still talk and text back and forth. She is a wonderful woman to have listened to me. This just goes to show me that life takes us on some strange journeys, weather I like what journey I have taken or not such is life. I have always linked my life to music and to my favorite band Great White and Jack Russells solo album. As the days have passed with her my songs have changed running through my head. it went from GW "Heartbreaker" to GW "Silent Night " then now Jack Russells "The Best is Yet Come" I think I have some what counciled myself through this. Songs changing from Jelousy against her hubby , to regret of not telling her what i was thinking and the life I chose , to Life a head of my self... It was rugged I have never been so immotional in my life. Crying all the time, Joy that I found her , then regret that I was married and had kids , then knowing that even if I was single she was married and there was no way in hell that anything would happen between us again. Because she was married. More or less we both will never cheat on our spouces period. I told her that later in life if we are still living and our spouces have passed on. We might be old and haggard but then we can give it another try.. She agreed with a smile.
Whew another counsiling sesson gone good, Each time I talk the easier it becomes to let go

Just remember " it's time to realise........ the best is yet to come" Jack Russell's "Best is yet to come"

Gannon

That's quite a story 88, kinda renews your faith a little, you know, and it most certainly could destroy your sleep patterns. I was wondering if your recent insomnia was situational....and it absolutely was!

Glad you've identified it and have taken steps to deal....you got dealt one of life's jokers.....but you'll be fine. :clapping:

 

[88vmx12]

That's quite a story 88, kinda renews your faith a little, you know, and it most certainly could destroy your sleep patterns. I was wondering if your recent insomnia was situational....and it absolutely was!

Glad you've identified it and have taken steps to deal....you got dealt one of life's jokers.....but you'll be fine. :clapping:

I am just glad she has been willing to listen. The only thing that bothers me is that is that we had texted one another today. She is always very cheerful in her messages. she said that her dad was alright, "alright" is not a good word for her.It should be more like "terrific " or "great". I hope that my last dumping session with her hasn't bummed her out. I would hate for her to go through the same thing I did. She is a very special person to me. I pray that she doesn't feel like she needs to carry all that, it would truly make me sad

 

[dannymax]

I am just glad she has been willing to listen. The only thing that bothers me is that is that we had texted one another today. She is always very cheerful in her messages. she said that her dad was alright, "alright" is not a good word for her.It should be more like "terrific " or "great". I hope that my last dumping session with her hasn't bummed her out. I would hate for her to go through the same thing I did. She is a very special person to me. I pray that she doesn't feel like she needs to carry all that, it would truly make me sad

Just a hunch, 88, but after the initial surprise or shock (which I'm sure is too strong a word) wears off I think she will see it as a major compliment that you have these feelings for her and wanted to share them. You were totally honest with her, everything is above board and no-one has been hurt....there's nothing wrong with that IMO. As long as it stays that way and no 'lines' are crossed or trust's broken...there's no harm.

 

[4gasem]

Thanks I think you hit the nail on the head! I had recently been caring / always caring for someone for over 20 years now. We ran into one another just recently after no contact for the 20 years or so. I have been hung up on her for a very very long time. Bad enough to make me wonder if my wife of 10 years was the right one. When reuniting after 20 years via the net excited to chat. We caught up on life and family over the last couple weeks. We even sent pics back and forth and talked on the phone for a voice check. We are both married and happy with our spouces ( but I wondered if I was until I got it all out ) . I should have told her way back then how I felt and had been holding it in for all those years. Actually looking for her on and off through the last 20 yrs. I finally had to tell her what was bottled up inside, it took me a few days pc by pc. But I think I finally emptied it all out as of yesterday. I am now sleeping a few more hours than I have been. If it wasn't for her willing to listen to me telling her what I felt. Like if she shut me out and quit talking to me. I would be totally screwed and probably to a counseler. As of yet we still talk and text back and forth. She is a wonderful woman to have listened to me. This just goes to show me that life takes us on some strange journeys, weather I like what journey I have taken or not such is life. I have always linked my life to music and to my favorite band Great White and Jack Russells solo album. As the days have passed with her my songs have changed running through my head. it went from GW "Heartbreaker" to GW "Silent Night " then now Jack Russells "The Best is Yet Come" I think I have some what counciled myself through this. Songs changing from Jelousy against her hubby , to regret of not telling her what i was thinking and the life I chose , to Life a head of my self... It was rugged I have never been so immotional in my life. Crying all the time, Joy that I found her , then regret that I was married and had kids , then knowing that even if I was single she was married and there was no way in hell that anything would happen between us again. Because she was married. More or less we both will never cheat on our spouces period. I told her that later in life if we are still living and our spouces have passed on. We might be old and haggard but then we can give it another try.. She agreed with a smile.
Whew another counsiling sesson gone good, Each time I talk the easier it becomes to let go

Just remember " it's time to realise........ the best is yet to come" Jack Russell's "Best is yet to come"

Gannon

WOW that was deep... Does your wife know you're talking to this gal? Does she know you have a crush on her?

Thank God your against cheating... This could go sour in a big way VERY fast for you and your wife...

Chris
no wonder you couldn't sleep!

 

[88vmx12]

WOW that was deep... Does your wife know you're talking to this gal? Does she know you have a crush on her?

Thank God your against cheating... This could go sour in a big way VERY fast for you and your wife...

Chris
no wonder you couldn't sleep!

No my wife has no idea that I have been talking to her. I am 1,000 miles away from home and I am glad. If I was at home when this was all going on it would make it worse. Even though I have been emotionally a disaster it has been much better that I went through this alone with the help of this lady. My wife would definately know something was up and then a hugh mess. All my coworkers even knew something was up. They knew I wasn't myself. The best of all this girl and I still text as of now. I told her I was concerned about getting her in a mess with her husband, by her talking to me. She insisted that it was ok and that he would understand. I can tell you that with what ever guy was with her would start to get very insecure. She is a a beautiful woman with top notch ethics in life. I would be terrified! But her hubby was gone for a couple of days since when we were talking. But since he has been home, chatting has slowed way down. I am sure that she doesn't want to upset him and nor do I want her to.

Gannon

 

[88vmx12]

Just a hunch, 88, but after the initial surprise or shock (which I'm sure is too strong a word) wears off I think she will see it as a major compliment that you have these feelings for her and wanted to share them. You were totally honest with her, everything is above board and no-one has been hurt....there's nothing wrong with that IMO. As long as it stays that way and no 'lines' are crossed or trust's broken...there's no harm.

Oh I had forgot to put in my original post that we did date for a short time in the beginning. Then running into her again... then the story.

And yes she said she felt very flattered and couldn't beleive that I had been searching for her for over 20 years

Gannon

 

[COP RUNNER]

I've been fighting the same thing my entire life ! ... I have no advice , i have been to a sleep center & i do stop breathing sometimes for a long period & I'll wake up and be gasping for air like i was drowning ! ... i have always had a lot on my mind . Not that others don't , but I'm always thinking of something to build or what i should be doing or pussy , all the normal shit , but i let a lot of shit get to me , I'd rather hash shit out , instead of letting stuff go ! ... thats why i love riding so much , just me & my bike . I've gone riding 3 times in the last 4 weeks & its been great !

 

[FREERIDER]

Woooo, thought I was looking in the mirror there for a minute with some of this stuff. Yep! That kinda shit will fuck your sleeping pattern all up. Thinking to much gets me.
Thats great you were able to get it all out somewhat smoothly.

 

[88vmx12]

Woooo, thought I was looking in the mirror there for a minute with some of this stuff. Yep! That kinda shit will fuck your sleeping pattern all up. Thinking to much gets me.
Thats great you were able to get it all out somewhat smoothly.

it is all out ( I think ) , I still feel a little bit messed up. no longer like driving over a parking block, it is more like somthing snagging on my sleave.. I think there is still more I need to take care of. But still am not sure what it is. I have a few q's for her that I want answered and I think that is what it is. I think it will be tough to get them aswered though. I think it is more of her feelings, I need to be free of this. But then I don't want to start a rollercoaster on her end with her hubby. If she doesnt' know that it has been ready to launch for all those years. If this has never happened to you, it is not fun not at all guys

 

[Slacker]

I've been fighting the same thing my entire life ! ... I have no advice , i have been to a sleep center & i do stop breathing sometimes for a long period & I'll wake up and be gasping for air like i was drowning ! ... i have always had a lot on my mind . Not that others don't , but I'm always thinking of something to build or what i should be doing or pussy , all the normal shit , but i let a lot of shit get to me , I'd rather hash shit out , instead of letting stuff go ! ... thats why i love riding so much , just me & my bike . I've gone riding 3 times in the last 4 weeks & its been great !

That brought back memories. When I usest to drink berr ALOT. It would wake up sucking in the wind. I was like someone stuffed a pillow over my head.

Doing drugs to fall asleep, did that while over in France with Typ PM. Never got a deep sleep. It was worse when I got hurt, more than once, using Darv or Perk. Work physically hard during the day n you'll crash like a baby. Turning down the lights an hr or two before crash time will help the melatonin thing. A biggie. Going to bed on a full stomach helps me. I shower, eat, watch the tube for a bit, say me prayer, and I'm normally out like a light. And forget the wussy. The kids will unknowingly love you for it. Lots of people have seen the grass greener on the other side, then found it all to be a pasture of cow chit. Then they end up wandering around with nothing. Happens every day. The last stat I seen, chances of success in relationships starting with people leaving relationships to start up another, the odds are 5%. That's 1 in 20 that work out. 19 of 20 don't.