A ugly guy walks into the bar with a big grin on his face and
Ordered a draft beer. 'What are you so happy about?' asks the barman.
'Well, I'll tell you,' replies the ugly man. 'You know, I live by the Railroad tracks. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the films. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!'
'Fantastic!' exclaimed the barman. 'You lucky *******, was she pretty?
'Dunno, ' said the ugly man, 'Never found the head!'