Life's Hard Sometimes

[Lotsokids]

Tough days. I will NEVER say that my trials are more than anyone else's here. I know some of y'all have endured divorce, loss of job, etc. I heard a preacher once say about someone enduring difficulty, to be careful not to criticize, because one day the Devil might find YOUR address.

I've had some major career shifts yet I think I've succeeded overall in my aviation maintenance career. But I've had recent difficulties with work and family. As a man, we know that hits close to home - the two biggest priorities.

But you know as well as I do, just throwing a leg over the V-Max and taking a non-aggressive ride calms the spirit. It's like a friend. You fire up the beast and it asks, "Where do you want to go?" Recently I took a 3-hour ride to Dallas... just for some BBQ.

Just being a little transparent and putting thoughts into words. :confused2:

 

[caseyjones955]

I have found that when adversity hits home there is nothing like cycletherapy to help with perspective. If I can get away from people, quiet my brain and quell the voices I find that the right answers come to me. Not always the answers that I want but the point for me is giving myself a chance to bypass my brain and emotions, and focus on my gut, which has yet to let me down. I made decisions on both career and divorce this way, hard decisions, but things could not have panned out better now that im down this road. Sometimes what I think is correct somehow still sits like broken glass in my gut, a feeling which IMHO should never be ignored, ever.

Sometimes these rides take me a long ways out of my way and down some wide open remote rural roads, away from traffic and people, without screens, phones or anyone's input. Only there can I really achieve quiet and distraction free reflection. It even works for simple stress relief when there are no decisions to be made. I hope that whatever you may be facing unfolds in your favor.

 

[vwaxxed]

Just did this night before last. I hadn't ridden mine in a few weeks because I had my carbs off because I was testing a set that I had rebuilt for another guy and just hadn't put it back together. Been having issues with the woman lately because I work so much, plus losing a friend recently and some other stress factors I put my carbs back on and went riding. it's so therapeutic. I instantly feel better, especially on cool nights for some reason. Nice cool air, no traffic. Best time to clear my head.

 

[Bill Seward]

The Vmax has a way of mellowing me out too. After a stressful day during last Summer's upheaval, 40 or 50 miles on the Max after work did wonders. Sometimes, I think the "V" in Vmax stands for "Valium"..

 

[Traumahawk]

Hey whenever you need to get out and about, call me up and we will go for a ride.

 

[Lotsokids]

Hey whenever you need to get out and about, call me up and we will go for a ride.

Will do.
BTW... You NEED to hear this exhaust system I installed. It will blow your mind. :biglaugh:

 

[Kronx]

Yea the VMax has been getting a lot of therapy miles put on it. I'm averaging about 10k a year. 2017 has been a pretty horrible year for me with my best friends. My best friend of 20+ years lived with me for a few months as I tried to help him overcome his alcohol problems. He ended up lying and stealing from me which forced me to throw him out. Now I'm having to throw the last best friend I had out -- the woman that I've been living for the last 6 years. I made a promise to her father I'd keep her safe. So I've got a U-Haul loaded and tomorrow I'm driving her back home which will be a 2 day trip. Then driving back through Mississippi to drop of my best friends guns that he left at my house. Then onto my families cemetery in Leaksville, MS to pay my respects. Then back home to an empty house. 4 days of all day driving and none of it on a motorcycle. :Flush000:

I wish I had more days off available. I would just load the V-max in the U-Haul and make a week of it riding back home. I've been contemplating getting another motorcycle for longer trips. Now it's a definite that will happen once I go through a few months of paying off this split/move.

Like Vwaxxed -- for me my favorite time to ride is when the roads are empty and it's cool out. I put in my ear buds, fire up my playlist and just let the ride and the soundtrack do it's work on my soul.

 

[Traumahawk]

Will do.
BTW... You NEED to hear this exhaust system I installed. It will blow your mind. :biglaugh:

Yes it do. Should sound very good around the Wichita Mtns.

 

[Traumahawk]

Yea the VMax has been getting a lot of therapy miles put on it. I'm averaging about 10k a year. 2017 has been a pretty horrible year for me with my best friends. My best friend of 20+ years lived with me for a few months as I tried to help him overcome his alcohol problems. He ended up lying and stealing from me which forced me to throw him out. Now I'm having to throw the last best friend I had out -- the woman that I've been living for the last 6 years. I made a promise to her father I'd keep her safe. So I've got a U-Haul loaded and tomorrow I'm driving her back home which will be a 2 day trip. Then driving back through Mississippi to drop of my best friends guns that he left at my house. Then onto my families cemetery in Leaksville, MS to pay my respects. Then back home to an empty house. 4 days of all day driving and none of it on a motorcycle. :Flush000:

I wish I had more days off available. I would just load the V-max in the U-Haul and make a week of it riding back home. I've been contemplating getting another motorcycle for longer trips. Now it's a definite that will happen once I go through a few months of paying off this split/move.

Like Vwaxxed -- for me my favorite time to ride is when the roads are empty and it's cool out. I put in my ear buds, fire up my playlist and just let the ride and the soundtrack do it's work on my soul.

For all of this, I am sorry my friend.

The best advice that i can give is be active. Demons come when your all alone at the house....because its too quiet. Stay safe.

 

[Lotsokids]

Well, here's the message I dreaded to write.

I found out my wife had a recent affair and I am filing for divorce on Monday.
Married 29 years and won't see 30. That's seriously sad. We can make choices, but cannot chose the consequences!

Our 6 children are seriously hurt as you can imagine.

 

[caseyjones955]

Well, here's the message I dreaded to write.

I found out my wife had a recent affair and I am filing for divorce on Monday.
Married 29 years and won't see 30. That's seriously sad. We can make choices, but cannot chose the consequences!

Our 6 children are seriously hurt as you can imagine.

Im very sorry to hear it. At least you were fortunate enough to find out and your doing the right thing IMHO. Ive seen guys shown the signs and continue in denial and its difficult to watch. I went through a really nasty divorce after a dime and a half and it was rough on the kids, but in retrospect it was better for them than a continuance of wedlock would have been. Ive been reading your posts for a while now and I can tell you that if they have your grit they will be fine. Damn, I wish I knew what to say to soften the sting aside from the FACT that it gets bettrr and in time better than ever. Im not sure what to say aside from please leave the plug in the jug, keep assuring the kids that you both will still love and care for them and obtain and OBEY the best lawyer you can afford.

It wasnt that long ago we saw another vmax brother suffer this sort of thing and itt hits me in the gut every time. Im deeply sorry you have had this happen to you and Im pulling for you. I swear on everything I own that it gets better after the rough part, a whole lot better.

 

[sdt354]

Well, here's the message I dreaded to write.

I found out my wife had a recent affair and I am filing for divorce on Monday.
Married 29 years and won't see 30. That's seriously sad. We can make choices, but cannot chose the consequences!

Our 6 children are seriously hurt as you can imagine.

Sorry to here it. It's always worse at the beginning. Been there, got through it, and survived. I came out the other end of it better off. You will too. Vmax therapy is better than anything else.
Steve-o

 

[Bill Seward]

That sucks.. My situation wound up a reconciliation, but it was a tough time.. Hang in there. Things will get better.. Stay sober, youll need a clear head. PM me if you want to discuss anything. You've got good friends here, we're all here for you, as the group was here for me when I needed them. I can't thank my brothers here enough.

Don't let hate consume you, either. It's a waste of energy. I learned the hard way.

 

[forestdaledave]

Tales of woe. I'll add mine. 13 months ago my wife had a stroke. Been in a nursing home. I had been staying on a friends boat on the water during week. Staying by her side. I stayed with her and fought the medical system until she could eat. Just had the gtube removed. She can eat and has been since last June. Monday the remains of tube removed. Thursday I brought her home where she wants to die. She can only move one arm. totally ambulatory. Very difficult understanding her speech. I'm caring for her at home trying to make her last days as joyful as I can. That is what I'm doing.
David

 

[Bill Seward]

Dave, you have my sympathy for the situation you and your wife are in. You also have my total respect for your commitment to your wife and her comfort. Lesser people would have just put her in a care facility.

May your remaining time with her be peaceful and happy. Bless you both.

 

[Lotsokids]

Monday I went to see a psychologist. I unloaded the stress as I know talking about it can be therapeutic. Well, I GOT MEDICALLY ARRESTED. They put me on an "Emergency Medical Hold." I was brought to the VA hospital by police against my will and locked me into the psych ward. They initially told me it would be for 5 days. TALK ABOUT ADDING STRESS!!!! I have no vacation time, so every day I would lose hundreds of dollars from my paycheck. I had an evaluation this morning and explained my situation and they released me after a 30-hour MISERABLE stay.

During that time I called my wife and she was very supportive. She called the nurse's station multiple times pleading for my release. That helped a lot. I feel drawn back to her as I loved to hear her voice while I was in "prison" and the lowest time of my life. I'm so confused. I love her, then memories of her unfaithfulness return and destroy positive emotions. I have a meeting with my pastor on Friday and will follow his counsel. He's a very wise man.

So lesson learned. Don't dump too much information. I should have seen a real counselor, not a doctor who can arrest you. Take heed.

Thanks for listening.

 

[tothemax93]

Monday I went to see a psychologist. I unloaded the stress as I know talking about it can be therapeutic. Well, I GOT MEDICALLY ARRESTED. They put me on an "Emergency Medical Hold." I was brought to the VA hospital by police against my will and locked me into the psych ward. They initially told me it would be for 5 days. TALK ABOUT ADDING STRESS!!!! I have no vacation time, so every day I would lose hundreds of dollars from my paycheck. I had an evaluation this morning and explained my situation and they released me after a 30-hour MISERABLE stay.

During that time I called my wife and she was very supportive. She called the nurse's station multiple times pleading for my release. That helped a lot. I feel drawn back to her as I loved to hear her voice while I was in "prison" and the lowest time of my life. I'm so confused. I love her, then memories of her unfaithfulness return and destroy positive emotions. I have a meeting with my pastor on Friday and will follow his counsel. He's a very wise man.

So lesson learned. Don't dump too much information. I should have seen a real counselor, not a doctor who can arrest you. Take heed.

Thanks for listening.

There's a lot unknown to try to give advice, but taking a big breath and talking to your pastor is a good move.

 

[Eugene Brad]

That is a ****** deal man. I'm very sorry. Stay possitive and listen to your heart. If you can truly forgive your wife and trust her and being with her is most important dont be too proud to rule out working it out. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't. Just try not to make such a life changing decision as a reaction of your emotions after such ****** news. When the dust settles you might see that things could be worth the work it may take. I know, easier said than done. I hope you get through this on top, one way or the other.

Sent from my SM-G360V using Tapatalk

 

[tothemax93]

That is a ****** deal man. I'm very sorry. Stay possitive and listen to your heart. If you can truly forgive your wife and trust her and being with her is most important dont be too proud to rule out working it out. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't. Just try not to make such a life changing decision as a reaction of your emotions after such ****** news. When the dust settles you might see that things could be worth the work it may take. I know, easier said than done. I hope you get through this on top, one way or the other.

Sent from my SM-G360V using Tapatalk

Well said

 

[Bill Seward]

In my case it was worth the work needed to reconcile. And it wasn't easy... Trust returned, but slowly, but it was worth it.