Hey y'all. I ask for your prayer / support the next few days.
My wife and I will be talking this week face to face about our future.
We will have 3 of our children here also for Christmas (my college son is here now).
The last 3 days have been extremely difficult for me. I'm on medication and I don't feel stable at all. Spontaneous crying. Meeting with the doctor tomorrow to check on changing the medication (antidepressant). I'm in very bad physical and emotional condition.
God is my Rock, and believe me, I've been paralyzed on my floor crying out to Him. And I know He notices His child suffering alone in the dark. I don't know why I'm on this horrible, dark path, which was not my choosing. Time will tell. 5 years ago tomorrow, a car crash nearly killed me, resulting in multiple skull fractures and PTSD. Now my wife of 30 years had an affair on top of that. Believe me, a nearly fatal car crash is MUCH, MUCH easier to handle than a heart that's ripped in half. The pain is so deep. I seriously wish I would have died in the car crash. Many others would probably have "cracked" by now.
Thanks for listening to my rant. Somewhat therapeutic to get it off my chest.