Bad jokes:
Question: What's the difference between pink and purple? Answer: Grip
Drunk at baseball game. Batter walks. Drunk yells at ump. Guy sitting next to drunk says, "He got 4 balls, he walks!" The drunk yells "STRUT, YOU SOB, STRUT!!!"
how do u know ur at a gay BBQ .......when all the hotdogs tast like shit!!!
A guy goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I how do I tell if my wife has VD or TB?" The doc says "Chase her around the bed a few times. If she coughs, fuck her."
Why do bald men have holes in their pockets? A: So they can run their fingers through their hair!
A man walks in to a bar ans asks the bartendar for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz. The Bartendar says " Whats wrong with Schlitz, dont you like it?" the man says " I hate that shit. Last night I drank a whole case of and I blew Chunks." The barteder says, "You drink any case of beer, your gunna blow chunks." You dont understand, chunks is my dog.
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot you fucking racist.
What has seven arms and sucks? Def leppard!
A man and his wife are having an argument, the man gets pissed off and takes off his pants and throws them at his wife and says Put those on, wife replies, I cant get into those..the man says thats right, now you know who wears the pants in this family! So wife gets pissed off so she takes off her Panties and throws them at her husband and says Put those on!, He said I cant get into those, and she says, thats right, and you never will with that fucking attitude!!
Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
A. A navel.
Whats the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Santa stops after 3 ho's
what's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your whole day....anal sex makes your hole weak....
Small town America. An old man sitting on a bench in front of the town barber shop and watches a young boy of about 5 years sitting on the curb across the street. The boy has a bag of M&M's and reaches in grabbing a handful, throws them i...n his mouth and proceeds to eat them. After a minute or so the boy then grabs a mangy cat next to him, bites the cat on the back then stands up walks down the street 20 feet and sits back down.
The old man chuckles to himself and again watches the young kid eat more M&M's, bite the cat once again and move further down the street.
By now the old man is curious and walks over to the boy and asks "young man, I've been watching you for a while and would like to know what your doing?" The boy replies "I'm playing truck driver."
"Truck driver?" the old man responds, "can you explain that to me?"
The boy excitedly says " You know poppin pills, eating pussy and moving on down the road."
a little indian boy finds out the medicine man names all the little indian children. he's curious how he does that, so he runs to the medcine man's teepee. "medicine man, how do you name the little children of the village?"
medicine man ...kneels dow and says, "well, after the child is born, i walk out of my teepee and the first thing i see becomes the child's name. like soaring eagle, running deer, and crawling bear. why do you ask, two dogs fucking?"
You know that look women get when they want sex??????? Me neither.......DAMMIT
How can you tell that a female bartender is REALLY mad at you? There's a white string hanging out of your Bloody Mary.
A bear and a rabbit are crapping in the woods. The bear looks at the rabbit and asks " Do you have a problem with crap sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says "No." So the bear wiped his a$$ with the rabbit.
A kindergarten class had a homework assigment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they had found, Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class, and with a pie...ce of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down
Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was. "It's a period," said Little Johnny.
"Well, I can see that," the teacher said, "but what is so exciting about a period?"
"Danged if I know," said Little Johnny, "but this morning, my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."
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