SUCCESS!
i ground down the tool to fit in the tiny recess. it fit, barely.
then the problem was when i tightened the bolt (actually loosened to expand it, but i digress) the top where the flanges were would become bowed in and not be parallel. so after a few attempts i got a piece of metal (it ended up being a nut) about .5mm smaller than the gap between the 'halves' where the notches were sitting in the recess. then took a chisel and used it to wedge the nut in between so the top part couldn't bow in at all.
then heated up the stem with a heat gun and slammed it from above with a big ass screwdriver and out it came.
very happy. then the bearing came right off the triple tree very easily. just ground a notch and as i tapped it i hit it at a slight angle so it started to rotate up and off.
pic attached of tool ground down on left half and in its stock form on the right.