The Joke thread!

[MtnMax/Magniac]

Obama took a short flight in a private plane over an Indian reservation in Oklahoma . . .

 

[marsmax85]

:rofl_200::rofl_200::clapping:

 

[jfeagins]

Someone please arm those indians properly.

 

[MtnMax/Magniac]

[FONT=&quot]One day, a very gentle Texas lady was driving across a high bridge in Austin. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin’ to jump.
("fixin to" in Texas means getting ready to)[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot][/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump! Think of your dear mother and father." He replied, "My mom and dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot][/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]She said, "Well, think of your sweet wife and precious children." He replied, "I'm not married, and I don't have any kids."[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot][/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]She said, "Well then, you just remember the Alamo ." He replied, ''What's theAlamo ?''[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot][/FONT]

She replied, ‘’Well, bless your heart! You just go ahead and jump..you little Yankee Democrat Bastard.. You’re holding up traffic

 

[MtnMax/Magniac]

Car-ma . . .

 

[Traumahawk]

Obama took a short flight in a private plane over an Indian reservation in Oklahoma . . .

I had to LOL at that one...

Sent from my PB99400 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Rusty McNeil]

Car-ma . . .

Sorry, I had to steal that one for my Facebook page.
Thx

 

[MtnMax/Magniac]

How do you manage to get fired the first day wearing a Winnie-the-Pooh costume?
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Put your costume pants on backwards.

 

[alorio1]

Today my wife said "Honey, fix that gutter downspout
Well, as you all know, I'm retired. I invited some of my buddies over.
One brought his welder.
Took us about 4 hours, and 30 beers, but we got the downspout
fixed and my welder buddy gave it an artistic flair.
Wife is speechless...
I cannot wait for it to rain again.

 

[marsmax85]

yep those are good ones ..

 

[alorio1]

Check the Oil !!!

A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country.
~~~
Well, there's a very simple answer.
~~~
Nobody bothered to check the oil.
~~~
We just didn't know we were getting low.
~~~
The reason for that is purely geographical.
~~~
Our OIL is located in:
~~~
ALASKA
~~~
California
~~~
Coastal Florida
~~~
Coastal Louisiana
~~~
Coastal Alabama
~~~~
Coastal Mississippi
~~~~
Coastal Texas
~~~
North Dakota
~~~
Wyoming
~~~
Colorado
~~~
Kansas
~~~
Oklahoma
~~~
Pennsylvania
~~~
And Texas
~~~
Our dipstick is located in the White House!
~~~
Any Questions?
NO? Didn't think So.

 

[Blurr]

This is funny, I'm on a production platform at the moment and they are all getting a kick out of it.

 

[MtnMax/Magniac]

Finally found an equal for the VMax . . .

 

[98Redlne]

Finally found an equal for the VMax . . .

That is the only way you could possibly get a Harley going that fast.

 

[MtnMax/Magniac]

The Harley motor just runs the starter for the other 2 . . . :rofl_200:

 

[Wingstunts]

Q: Do you know why Michael Jackson loves twenty eight year olds???
































A: Because there's 20 of them :rofl_200:

Do you know what time is bed time at Michael Jackson's house?





When the big hand touches the little hand!

 

[alorio1]

two harley sounds

http://stressbuster1.com/pics/harley/

 

[MtnMax/Magniac]

[FONT=&quot]M[/FONT][FONT=&quot]any thought that Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ) and President Obama [/FONT][FONT=&quot]seemed overly friendly during the president’s tour of damage done by [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Superstorm Sandy . . .

. . . Turns out they were childhood friends!
[/FONT]

 

[alorio1]

OBAMA WORKING OUT WITH 2 POUND WEIGHTS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gk625OacPqA

 

[alorio1]

SENIOR CITIZEN SETTING HIS PASSWORD...............

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

USER: 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

USER: 50bloodyboiled cabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.

USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages


WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.

USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER: ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.