The Joke thread!

[jfeagins]

Crisis on the Serengeti

Subject: Fwd: Drama in the Serengeti

>> A couple on an African Safari witnessed a small antelope being chased
>> down by a cheetah.
>>
>> While the kill was about to happen before their eyes, the husband
>> casually remarked, “I’ll bet the antelope gets away.”
>>
>> The wife answered, “If that antelope survives this one, I’ll give you
>> sex every day for the rest of your life.”
>>
>> The deadly chase was recorded. Click below...
https://www.youtube.com/embed/DYDIwOnXNc8

 

[Traumahawk]

We now have confirmation of the death of Osama Bin Ladin. It turns out that he is a registered voter in Chicago and is a registered Democrat.

 

[jfeagins]

We now have confirmation of the death of Osama Bin Ladin. It turns out that he is a registered voter in Chicago and is a registered Democrat.

Twenty six times!

Osama A. Bin Laden,
Osama B. Bin Laden,
Osama C. Bin Laden,
Osama D. Bin Laden,
Osama E. Bin Laden,
Osama F. Bin Laden,
Osama G. Bin Laden,
Osama H. Bin Laden, and so on....

 

[Traumahawk]

Twenty six times!

Osama A. Bin Laden,
Osama B. Bin Laden,
Osama C. Bin Laden,
Osama D. Bin Laden,
Osama E. Bin Laden,
Osama F. Bin Laden,
Osama G. Bin Laden,
Osama H. Bin Laden, and so on....

LOL....yep. Ive seen youtube videos of people PROUD of the fact that they voted 5 times in the 2012 election.

 

[jfeagins]

.......and don't forget, multiply all those Bin Ladens by at least 4x...

Osama A. Bin Laden,
Osama A. Bin Laden II,
Osama A. Bin Laden III,
Osama A. Bin Laden IV,
Osama B. Bin Laden,
Osama B. Bin Laden II,
Osama B. Bin Laden III,
Osama B. Bin Laden IV,
Osama C. Bin Laden,
Osama C. Bin Laden II,
Osama C. Bin Laden III,
Osama C. Bin Laden IV, and so on.............

 

[MtnMax/Magniac]

How about this one

 

[caseyjones955]

How about this one

If you happen to marry a "butter face" converting to Muslim is a great way to mask that from your friends.

 

[adambweird]

Ill just put this one out there...

 

[caseyjones955]

Nice reference, I'm a fan of both Mr Rodgers and (early) Metallica! nicely done. I wonder if they will tour together?

 

[dannymax]

Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling, bouncing up and down,
and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.

At a news conference, after announcing the invention, a large group of men took Dr. Rickson outside and beat the shit out of him.

 

[davidon]

:biglaugh:

 

[MtnMax/Magniac]

:ummm:

 

[Geordie]

Police in Glasgow today pulled over a local lad and were amazed to find the car taxed, tested and insured.
It wasn't stolen and there was no stolen goods nor drugs found.
The driver was sober.
He had a full licence and had no points.
A Police Spokesman said they had no option but to fine him £80 for wasting Police time.

 

[blaxmax]

Sounds normal geordie.

 

[MtnMax/Magniac]

Best parenting advice:

Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.

 

[MtnMax/Magniac]

Reagan's last words . . .

 

[caseyjones955]

Hahahahaha.... Wait... Fuck....poor bill! Is democracy an STD if you get some on you?

 

[dannymax]

That's a good one!!

 

[Traumahawk]

That made me LOL

 

[MtnMax/Magniac]

It has recently been brought out that many Westerners have been using the term "towel-heads" to describe the militant factions in the middle east. I would like to point out that this in an inaccurate description. The white cloth worn on the head is not a towel, but is actually a small sheet. So instead of "towel-head" a more accurate term would be "little sheet-head".

No need to thank me for passing along this valuable information, just doing my civic duty.